


Try

by fightuntilyoucan



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: F/M, Fluff, mention of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2020-12-28 05:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 26,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21131474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fightuntilyoucan/pseuds/fightuntilyoucan
Summary: After Shay's dead you join 51 as a paramedic. You feel good there, everyone are nice to you except one person. Lieutenant Severide who treats you rather cold. Will you manage to become friends with him?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyAte](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAte/gifts).

You felt exactly like it was the first day of school, you hated school, mostly because you have never found friends there. You were new in firehouse 51, no one was happy about it after what happened to Shay. You met her once and that one impression was enough to know that you will never feel like home there. It was your work, and you promise yourself that you will do anything to work hard and in peace with yourself.  
Before you could say anything, you saw a large man walking towards you, you assumed it’s Chief Boden and you didn’t know why your face lit up.

“Boden,” he said, smiling and lifting his hand up to shook yours, “pleasure to have you here.”

“(Y/N) (Y/L),” you shook his hand, “pleasure is mine.” you smiled.

“Come with me, I will introduce you to everyone.”

You entered a room where all firefighters were sitting and laughing, you knew that there is one more woman except you, but you couldn’t see her yet. You looked around before Boden catches their attention and introduce you. In the corner, you saw a man, large, sad man with blue eyes. You recognize him from somewhere, but you couldn’t remember where did you see him before.

“It’s (Y/N) (Y/L) she’s a new paramedic and will work with Dawson. I hope you will treat her well and help her with anything she would need.”

When Boden left the room, you meet the whole team, Otis and Cruz seemed nice, but they definitely wanted to flirt with you, even though they didn’t know how. At once you saw the guy, the one who you didn’t remember, and after a second you decided to introduce yourself to him.

“Hi! I’m (Y/N), nice to meet you..” you smiled, waiting for his response.

“Lieutenant Severide.”

“It’s your name? Lieutenant?” you smiled again.

“No, but I don’t need new friends and you definitely don’t have to know my name,” he said, leaving the room.

“Don’t pay attention to him.” you heard a female voice, “he went thru a lot and still need time to recover. I’m Dawson, we will work together it seems.”

“(Y/N), nice to meet you...I didn’t hear your name, but maybe you just don’t tell it to strangers.”

“Sorry, I'm just getting used to people call me by my last name,” she smiled, “Gabriela. You can call me Gabby or Dawson.”

“I’m sorry...Just…” you looked at Severide.

“It’s hard for him...for us.”

“Ambulance 61, Squad 3 and truck 81. Two people stuck in the house.” the siren filled the room.

“We have to go, stay close to me and everything will be okay,” Dawson said, leading to the ambulance.

You almost jump to it, trying to cool off after all that happened, all the people you met and what you have to deal with before you came here, it was just a huge baggage. After your seatbelts clicked, you turned to Dawson, she was focused on the road, driving fast and after you think a bit about what would make you a bit more comfortable in her area, your voice filled the space.

“I know it’s not the best time, but...I just want to tell you something to make things clear.”

“You have two minutes before we get there,” she said, without looking at you.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” you said, looking at her, “I’m here, not to replace her, it’s impossible, but I want you to know that...I’m not very good in making friendships, meet friends and stuff, but I’ll do everything to work hard and not let you down,” you said.

“Thank you.” was everything she whispered.

******  
This wasn’t what you think it will be, the house was on fire, you saw the flames licks the bricks, smoke escaping from the windows without the glass parts, you thought it will be two people, but it turns out there is so much more to save. Illegal fabric of clothes was occupied by at least twenty people, mostly woman and kids. You looked around trying to treat as many patients as you could when you notice a boy with the head between his knees. In a place like this, with plenty of people around you, he was probably missed.

“Hey. I’m (Y/N). Is something hurts you? You were in the building?”

“Leave me alone.” he whispered.

“I’ll when I will be sure you are okay.”

“Leave me alone!” he shouted, lifting his hand with the metal object in it.

For a moment you didn’t know where you were. This metal object pointed at you were the small gun, you didn’t know if someone is looking at you, at your struggle and for the first time you felt more scared than before. You looked him right in the eye and finally spoke, trying to stop your voice from shaking.

“Hey. I’ll leave you alone okay.” you took a step back.

At once you felt someone's presence, someone was standing behind you and saw everything that happened. That boy felt that too and directed the gun right at Severide whose look was jumping from the boy to you. He took a step towards the boy, but before he notices it the boy jumped from the ground lifting his gun. Severide froze just like you, you didn’t know what he wanted to do and for a first time this day, you regret the meeting with the lieutenant.

“Hey!” you made the boy look at you, “he’s the firefighter. He has to go there and save people, you wanted to leave right? If you hurt him, it won’t be that easy.”

“Go back!” he shouted.

“Okay,” you took a step back, standing in front of Severide, making your body shields his.

“What are you doing?” he hissed behind you.

“Shut up.” you hissed back. “You can go now. Nothing and no one will stop you.”

You saw relief on boys face, he looked at you hiding his gun to the pocket, when he was already gone, you saw Boden looking at you two. You were sweat and your hands were shaking. Boden took a step towards you, putting his hand on your shoulder.

“Good job,” he whispered.

“Good job?” Severide yelled, “he could kill her! She should let me take care of it instead of playing the hero.”

You turned around to face him, your face was red and you didn’t know if it was adrenalin or the fact he had a problem with you, but before you know it, you were standing in front of him, your noses almost touched.

“Thank you will be fine and I’m not the one who plays hero here, I got it, but you decided to step in and save poor woman. I don’t know what you have against me, but spill it or shut up and let me work….lieutenant,” you said, leaving him with a confused look.

******

“What happened there? Are you okay?” Dawson rushes to you, giving you a hug.

“Yes. I got this, but “lieutenant hero” decided to step in my way.” you said, jumping to the ambulance with Dawson.

“You like him,” she said, starting the engine.

“I am not!” you shrugged.

“Well, he likes you for sure,” she said, driving back to the firehouse.

“Are you kidding me? He didn’t even tell me what’s his name and when that guy points a gun on us, he wanted to beat him! Like he would have any chance with us.” you shouted.

“That’s how it works in his world. Severide is a protective type, if he likes you, he will do anything to make you safe.”

“Well, not my business. He can do whatever he wants, just don’t step in my way,” you said, looking thru the window.

********  
The firehouse was silent, it’s been two weeks since you started the job there and everything went in the right direction. You still couldn’t understand Severide and you tried to avoid him as much as you could.  
Gabby was so sweet for you to like the guys and the chief, your favorite was the firehouse dog, you would pet her for hours until the sirens went off and brought you to action. At once you felt the hand on your shoulder, you jump out of your chair almost stepping at the dog, your heart beat faster, but after a moment you realize it was Dawson who brought food to join you for breakfast.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you.”

“It’s okay.” you smiled, sitting back at your chair.

“I was wondering if I mention that we, Otis, Hermann and I are owners of a bar nearby? Molly’s is the best place and I thought you could come to join us for drink or something,” she asked, grabbing a bite from her sandwich.

“You didn’t and I’d love too! I’m here about two months and I’m still getting lost sometimes…”

“Don’t worry Casey will pick you up.”

“Lieutenant?” you tilted your head.

“Don’t worry, he’s nice and he’s my boyfriend so will be extra nice or I’ll talk with him.”

“He’s your boyfriend?” you asked shocked, “good I didn’t tell that he’s cute or something.” you smiled.

“Well, he is, no doubts about that. I’m not jealous type…”

“Ha! I bet you are,” you said, petting Pouch head.

“Yeah, I am,” Gabby said, lifting her sight.

You both laugh when your eyes met, you liked Gabby so much, she was nice, supportive and your lack of social skills doesn’t bother her. You were talking about stupid things until you saw a figure in front of you, you lifted your head and looked into Severide’s eyes.

“I…” he started.

“Ambulance 61, Squad 3 and truck 51. The fire of the building.”

You were curious what he wanted to say, but before he could finish, you both had to be in trucks. You took everything you need and jumped to ambulans where Dawson was starting the engine. She looked at you with a smile, you know what she was thinking about Severide, but you couldn’t admit it, not now. It was too soon for you to move one, to be honest, you both know each other to short. The only thing you wanted was to have a friend in him, which was impossible because he hates you.


	2. Chapter 2

You thought that after what happened during last call, you will be ready for everything, but after what you saw, you weren't that sure. The house was ready to get in, you took the bag and Dawson took the chair, you both looked at each other with the same confused look. You looked at the truck of Squad 3, Severide’s team was still in the building, checking the place. You didn’t know what you were looking for, the building was dark from smoke, the fire eaten the walls, photos on them and the whole lives of the people who lived here, but Boden wanted to make sure everything was checked before all of you get back to the firehouse.  
You walked behind Gabby, she was looking around just like you, probably thinking the same things about people who lived here, when at once you were knocked out, feeling someone’s heavy body on yours. You didn’t know what happened or what’s going on until you saw Severide’s body hovering over yours, shielding your body from piece of embers, you looked at him and after a moment you noticed bricks falling from the roof in the place you were standing only seconds ago, heavy bricks made a huge hole tracing to the basement.

“T-thank you,” you whispered.

“It means we are even.” he smiled.

That smile, that spark in his eyes and the thing he was almost lying on you make you feel the chill running thru your spine. After a moment of staring at Severide, you finally get up, and after a second you knew. You like Severide more than you should.  
At once you heard Chief’s voice thru the radio, you knew that everyone saw what happened which makes you blush a little, you all also knew construction of the building was damaged, you took your things from the floor and walked gently behind Dawson again.

“Now, will you tell me that he doesn’t like you?” she whispered.

“It’s his job Dawson, he didn’t jump on me for pleasure,” you said before you think how it would sound.

“Well, I see you change your mind a bit if it takes to Severide.”

“You have one minute. The construction can collapse any minute.” you heard Boden’s voice.

You grabbed Gabby’s arm, pulling her to the door, you didn’t know what you were looking for here, Chief wanted you to find something, anything that could bring hope to this family. When you were already leaving the building, you found a toy under your feet, it was little panda with brown eyes and socks, you took it from there, hoping it’s the sigh the family would need in bad times. When you looked at the right, you saw Severide staring at you, you couldn’t tell what was in his eyes, something that make you feel better after what you all saw in this burned house.   
Dawson was teasing you whole way back about how you blushed every time when Severide was looking at your direction.

*******  
You decided to visit Molly’s after your shift, you went home, trying not to get lost again, to change your cloths and eat. Gabby assures you that Matt will be more than happy to pick you up, but for you, it doesn’t feel right. You couldn’t stop thinking about Severide, about his blue eyes and that sadness he carries in them. You took a shower, make your hair wave a bit and later tried to decide what to wear. You didn't used to a cold nights in Chicago so you picked the tight jeans, blouse with V-neck that end at the line of your breast showing a bit of your dark blue bra and pink tennis shoes with leather jacket. You looked good, enough for the night in the bar. You put some lip gloss and use a bit of mascara and after a second you were ready to leave.

Molly’s looked better than you thought, wooden floors, bar and nice people not mentioned the amazing wooden doors. You found Gabby in a moment you entered the bar, you both hugged and after a second Otis and Cruz were already by your side pouring some alcohol to the glass.

“The place is amazing,” you said, sipping a bit of liquid. “And those doors.” you pointed in that direction.

“We found them with Matt, he helped me renovate it,” Dawson said, smiling.

“That’s how you two end up together?” you asked curiously.

“No, I was with Peter then.”

“Peter? Peter Mills?”

“Yes.” she blushed.

“Girl, you are full of surprises I see.”

“Maybe.” she said, “look who’s here.”

At once you turned around, looking at the same direction as Gabby. He entered the bar and immediately found boys from his Squad. You thought that your relationship was better, but after an hour you decided to go home.  
After all, you’ve been thru, a friend, was the only thing you needed. Gabby was amazing, but her attention was split in half when Matt was around and you couldn't blame her. You were new in the firehouse and you knew that it needs time, so they would like you. You hugged Dawson and say goodbye to the whole team, took your jacket and go outside.   
You felt the cold wind on your face when you were waiting for a cab, Chicago wasn’t that bad after all, you had a place to stay, job and memories that keep you together in bad days. At once you felt someone’s hand on your shoulder, you thought that you left something and Gabby decided to bring it to you, but it wasn’t her.

“Severide?” you asked, looking at him.

“Yeah, you know...I want to make it clear,” he said, giving you a bottle of beer.

“I thought we did. You saved me and I saved you,” you said, sipping a bit from your bottle.

“I want to explain why I was...such an ass…” he took a deep breath, “Shay is...Shay was my best friend. We lived together, drink together, she even cope with me while I was too drunk to go home.” he looked at you, “I’m scared to find another best friend you know, and when I saw those falling bricks….I didn’t want to lose another teammate. I want to be your friend (Y/N). You seemed nice and I have to tell you that I can’t remember when someone yelled at me as you did.”

“You welcome,” you smiled, “I never wanted to replace her. It’s impossible to do.” you gave him sad smile.

At once you saw his eyes become glassy, you have never seen a man crying in front of you and that was something that makes you weak. You didn’t know what happened to you, but in a second he looked at you with those sad eyes something brock in you and before you know it, you were hugging him tightly.

“I’m sorry.” you said, trying to move from the hug, “Lieutenant,” you added.

“My name is Kelly.” he whispered, hugging you tighter, “can I buy you another drink?” he asked, losing his grip.

“Always.” you smiled.

After you both entered Molly’s the whole team looked at you, you catched Dawson’s sight and smiled. You stood by the table with Kelly and his squad, laughing all evening. For the first time you felt like home, they were your home.


	3. Chapter 3

Four weeks had passed since you spend an amazing night at Molly’s. You and Severide were closer than you ever were with any human being, you spend time with each or after work or eat lunch at the firehouse. Severide opened up a bit to you, he told you about his fiance and Renee, women who told him she’s carrying his baby and his father who was nowhere around when Kelly was teen. You liked the time he invited you to his, Dawson and Casey home. You were watching movies, or drink wine and talk almost the whole night. It was nice to have someone around, someone you trust and someone who cares about you then no one ever did.

The next few shifts were a lot calmer than you first one, you spend some time with Dawson, talking and laughing while sitting by the table. Your side was covered with newspapers and filled with numbers to the people who wanted to rent rooms.

“What’s this?” Dawson’s asked with her mouth full of sandwich.

“I need a new place,” you answered with a shy smile.

“What’s wrong with the one you have?”

“Well, the guy I rent it from have...pets.”

“Don’t you tell me you don’t like sweets cats?” Otis asked.

“I’m fine with cats and dogs as you can see.” you pet Patch furry head, “but he has other...furry friends.”

“Other one?” Kelly asked, sipping his coffee.

“Rats.” you whispered, “he is feeding rats…”

“No way!” Dawson said, putting her sandwich on the plate.

“Yeah, they have names too, but every time I want to see a nice place it turns out its rent by a bald, horny fifty-something guy. I use pepper spray once.” you took a deep breath.

“Well, you could look for something together.” Peter said, mashing the food, “Lieutenant also look for own space right?”

You looked at Severide who was already staring at you, he lifted his eyebrow and attack you with this sweet smile of his, it was something mischief in that smile, but you couldn’t help but smile yourself. At once you realized how stupid idea it was, you knew each other for a month or so and it was stupid to even ask him to live with you, even as roommates.

“I'm in!” Severide almost screamed.

“You are?” you asked, blinking fast.

“Come with me,” he said, taking you by your elbow and walking outside of the firehouse.

You weren’t sure about what is happening, your thoughts run like crazy and you hoped that no one saw your blushing face. You wanted to try, you wanted to be Kelly’s roommate and know him even better, but you were afraid of that. Afraid of repeat the Shay situation. They were best friends, lived together long and you weren’t prepared to be compared to her. So you made a quick plan to change the situation.

“It’s the best idea ever!” he said, smiling.

“Kelly…”

“No, let me finish, we already spend so much time together, you slept on Casey and Dawson couch because we talk whole night and I think we would be great roommates. We like the same stuff and drink together is fun too. What do you say?”

“I...Are you sure? You spend a lot of time with other girls...like I don’t want to interrupt with your uhm ‘dates’.”

“You won’t. I promise to behave.”

“Kelly.” you looked down on the ground, “I don’t want to bring memories.”

“What memories?” he asked.

“You and Shay. I don’t want you to suffer,” you said, with a cracked voice.

“Hey,” he hugged you tightly, kissing the top of your head, “I could be dead by now. I spend a lot of time at bars, drinking till bartender took my keys. I feel like we meant to be friends.”

“You...ugh” you smiled, “I hate you.”

“That means yes?” he asked, holding you by your shoulders.

“Yes.” he laughs, “I have one place I want to go, but I’m worried about uhm, old, horny guys. Will you go with me?”

“Yes and I have a favour” he said, looking at you.

“Wow, only a few minutes and you already need a favor.” you tilted your head, “shot.”

“Next time if any guy will try to hurt you, just call me okay?” he kissed your forehead.

“Ambo 61, Squad 3 and Truck 81, fire with the possibility of building collapsing.” you both run to your trucks.

“We’ll go after the shift to see that place you picked okay?” Kelly yelled being already inside of the truck.

“Okay.” you smiled, jumping to the ambo with Dawson.

******  
You both entered the house you picked, it was a nice loft with two bedrooms, a bright living room, and modern kitchen. It has two floors, on the top one, there was a large room filled with bookshelves, sofa and large TV, on first one there was bright living room, kitchen, bedrooms and not so big bathroom.  
Since the moment you came in, your mouth became open, you couldn't imagine a better place to live and it has nothing to do with your current position and ‘pets’ of your roommate. The only problem was that you were sure the place is out of your league. It was too expensive for you, you turned to Kelly and looked at him with sadness in your eyes.

“You don’t like it?” he asked with concern on his face.

“I love it!” you said, “but there is no chance I can afford that kind of apartment, even spilling the cost at two of us.”

You looked at the apartment once again, you felt like something heavy crush your chest and you were sure that you will cry in a moment. You didn’t want Kelly to look at you, so you pretend to look at the bedroom once again, leaving him with a man who wanted to rent that place.

Kelly looked behind you, making sure you won’t hear him from the bedroom. He turned to the man to face him and after a moment his whisper filled the small space between them. He wanted to make you happy, he had never felt that way to any woman in his life, but it just felt the right thing to do.

“What could I do to make you lower the price?”

“Look, I already did that, it’s a good location and the view. People could rent it just for the view,” he admitted.

“Okay, so can I have a favor then?”

“Sure,” he answered, suspicious.

“Tell her we negotiated and you lowered the rent for about 300$. I’ll pay it.”

“Your girl is so lucky,” he said.

“It’s not my girlfriend, we’re friends,” Kelly said, looking at the man.

“I’ll lower it for about 150$. She is lucky to have you and don’t get me wrong, but even the best friend wouldn’t do that for another.”

You entered the kitchen, looking at the apartment for the last time. Your cheeks were a little wet from crying and you hoped that Severide won’t notice it. You stood in front of him, looking at his bright smile.

“Guess what!” he yelled.

“What?” you asked.

“We can afford it! This lovely guy just lower the price and we’re moving in!” he said, looking at you.

“No way!” you yelled, jumping into Kelly’s arms, “really?”

“Yes,” he said, looking at the man, who was now smiling at him.

*******  
You were sitting with Dawson showing her the photos you made yesterday. The new bathroom, modern kitchen and second floor with an amazing view and wall full of space for your books. You didn’t even notice Severide, who was looking at you with a smile on his face.

“No way.” Casey said, sitting next to him, “you and (Y/N)?”

“No, of course not. We just rent an apartment together,” he answered, looking at the newspaper.

“I know how much cost that place! No way she can afford that.”

“That’s why we rent it together- roommates and don’t whine since tomorrow you and Dawson will have your apartment back. I must say the walls are too thin.”

“Don’t change the subject! How much you had to add to her part?”

“Casey,” Kelly took a deep breath, “not much,” he added.

“How much?” he repeated.

“150$.” Kelly answered, “but it doesn’t matter. Look how happy she is.” he smiled again, looking at your happy face.

You were talking about the apartment for all way to the hospital. You and Dawson were finishing your shift and you couldn’t hide your excitement. You can move into the new house, Severide had a shift, but he told you that most of his things are already there, you still have two suitcases to take from the old apartment so you decided to ask Dawson to pick them up on the way to the firehouse.

“Can we go to my old place? I would like to take my two last suitcases.”

“Sure, you are very excited,” Dawson said, looking at the road.

“YES!” you shouted, “I love that place, it’s bright, modern, cozy and just dreams come true and the guy lower the rent a bit so I can afford that!”

“Yeah? It’s not very usual to lower the rent here,” she said, looking at you.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing.” she smiled, “give me the address, we will pick up your things.”

*******  
You jumped from the ambulance, looking for your keys in the pockets. You decided that Dawson will stay outside, not only because she is scared of rats, but also because it wasn’t the best neighborhood to leave ambulance without anyone inside.

“Give me five minutes.” you smiled, still excited at leaving that place.

You entered the dark hall of your old apartment, you weren’t sure if it was always so dark here, but before you could think about it you saw your stuff near room entrance. You put the envelope with cash for last rent and you were ready to leave when suddenly you felt someone's hand on your mouth, your eyes opened wide when you heard the voice filled the room.

“You didn’t think that you just walk away. You have to do something to make up to me that you left me.” you felt his other hands trail down to the hem of your shirt.

You couldn’t say anything or scream, his hands were roaming on your body which makes you sick. He was always a quiet guy, you thought he isn’t dangerous, but your current position made you fell another way now. He turned you around and push you to the wall, pinned your hands above you. You would never guess he is so strong. You shivered when one of his hands tucked under your shirt, resting on your breast. At once you felt the cold wind coming from the door, you didn’t know how it could happen, the door was closed, but after a second you saw your ex-roommate on the ground, crying from pain.

“Are you okay?” you heard Dawson’s voice.

“Y-yes.” you murmured, shutting your eyes.

“Go, I’ll take your stuff,” she said, giving you the ambo keys.

You were riding back to the firehouse, you tried your best to not to cry in front of Gabby. You knew that she was pissed at you, for not screamed or fighting back, but you froze. You couldn’t speak or move, the only thing you wanted was a hot shower to wash off his scent and fell of his touch on your body. When Dawson pulled off the ambo, you almost run away from the car.

“(Y/N)! Wait!” she screamed, caught the attention of the Squad.

“Hey! What’s wrong?” Kelly asked almost immediately.

“We were at her old house, she entered it alone and there was a guy…” she took a deep breath, “she should tell you it, not me.”

Kelly didn’t wait any longer, he almost runs after you, storming the bathroom door. He looked at you, your eyes were red and puffy from crying. You tried to cover it, but you failed, he just took a step towards you, turning you gently to face him.

“What happened?” he asked, looking at you.

“Nothing,” he mumbled.

“So you cry for nothing?” Kelly asked, lifting your head.

“He…” you started, “he touched me.” you close your eyes.

“He did what?” Severide asked while clenching his fist. “what did he do?”

“Kelly, it doesn’t matter. It’s okay now.”

“No, I told you that if any guy will hurt you…”

“He didn’t. Dawson saved me, “I...I froze Kelly. I couldn’t speak and I didn’t fight back.” one of the tears fell from your eyelashes. “He pinned me to the wall and...put his hand under my shirt.”

Kelly’s jaw clenched, he wanted to kill that guy with his bare hands. He pulls you closer to his warm body, hugging you so tight you thought you couldn’t breathe. You inhale his scent, breathing in and out and after a few moments, you felt better. Being with Severide always make you better, he really cared about you and you couldn’t say that about a lot of people.

“Today, we will move into our new, fancy apartment. We’ll eat ice creams from the box and watch movies okay? I have one more thing to do after the shift, I promised Cassey something. I’ll call a cab for you okay? You have all your stuff?”

“Yes, I took two last suitcases.” you gave him small smile.

“Okay,” he kissed your forehead, “we’ll see in our new apartment okay.”

“Okay,” you answered, smiling.

*****  
Kelly’s car parked in front of the building, Casey was looking at his friend, trying to talk with Severide about his plan. Casey had never seen his friend like that, he was furious with something in his eyes that started to worry Matt.

“Let go Sev, we will report him and Jay with taking care of that.”

“Would you say this of it was Gabby?” Severide asked.

“Gabby’s my fiance, it’s totally different.”

“It’s the same thing, I...like (Y/N). She helped me after…” he took a deep breath, “Shay’s dead.” he finished.

“Okay.” Matt said, looking at Kelly, “what’s the plan?”

“You just stay here. I’ll talk with him.”

Severide walked fast to the house, he knocked to the door waiting for that guy to open. He was too stupid not to open the door. Kelly looked around, making sure that no one looked at his car and Matt in it when suddenly the door opened with a klick.

“What?” The guy said, looking at Severide.

“Remember the girl you touched without her permission?”

“Dude! That hottie had adept, she was hot,” he mumbles.

Severide’s blood boiled, he pushed him into the house. Kelly punched him several times, the bloodstream on the floor and walls. After a second he pulled out of the guy, he looked at him and stood up, towering over his beaten body.

“You will look at her or touch her once again and I’ll kill you,” he said. Leaving the room.

********  
You heard the door was opening at the moment you pull out the snacks from the oven. You were now a bit calmer, trying to forget about what happened. You turned around to face Kelly. He was putting his jacket on the hanger. You looked at him, scanning his look, his hand was red from blood.

“What happened?” you asked, lifting his hand.

“Casey asked me for help and wood fell on it. It’s okay now.” he kissed your forehead.

“Are you sure? We have to clean it. Sit down.”

“No. It’s fine.” he answered, “I promised you to ice cream and movies.” he lifted the box with your favorite flavor.

“Yes! you smiled, “I found some CDs, I’m sorry I look for it in your boxes.”

Kelly looked at the CDs with Shay’s handwriting. He was happy you found them, it was something he wanted you to know about him. Severide touched your hand, he lifted it to kiss your knuckles and after a second finally spoke.

“I and Shay filmed it all.” he took a breath in, “would you watch it with me?”

“Yes,” you said, curled against his site.


	4. Chapter 4

You slowly opened your eyes, letting them use to the morning sun. At once you felt something warm on your stomach, your eyes popped open with fear when you looked down. Severide’s head was laying on your stomach, his hands tangled around your waist. You tried to move but his grip was so tight you just let go of that idea, instead of that you touched his hair, caressing it a bit while at once your voice filled the space.

“Wake up sleepy head,” you whispered into his ear.

Kelly’s eyes opened slowly, his head still nuzzles on your stomach, his hands stretched slowly while he finally understood where he is. His eyes popped open almost as fast as yours only minutes before.

“I’m sorry.” he almost jumped out of the sofa, “we….I…,” he mumbled under his nose.

“Hey! It’s okay. We fall asleep watching.” you smiled, trying to make it cool, “I bet everything hurts, it wasn't the best position to sleep.” you added.

“It was quite nice.” he smiled, scratching his head, “you want to go to the bathroom as first?” he asked.

“No, go and I will make coffee for us.”

You had made a coffee and the breakfast for both of you and when you finally finished you had some time to think about what happened. You really liked Severide, he treats you better than any guy you met, but the problem was you fall in love with him, you knew it will ruin the friendship, work together and you still don’t know what you would do if he will bring one of the girls into your house. It was too painful to only think about, you sat on the counter, swinging your legs and waiting for him to leave the bathroom.

“Done.” you heard his voice, “your turn now.”

You turned your head to face him, your sight slipped on his naked chest while you desperately try not to look at the towel wrapped around his waist. You could swear that his smile made you blush even more. You hopped from the counter, trying to focus on his eyes, but every time you looked at this guy, your brain betrayed you.

*******  
The day went slowly compared to the week you had, living with Severide was something you didn’t quite understand. Everyone told you about him being playboy, having a lot of girls, sometimes every night, but it’s been a week and you didn’t notice any. You wanted to ask him about it, but you were just too scary to have that answer from him. At once Kelly appeared in front of you with a cup of coffee, his eyes sparks and his smile made your knees weak.

“We have to make a party.” he announced, giving you the red cup with a dark liquid, “we rent a new house and we have to make a party.”

“Do I have to remind you that we still have boxes all over the place?” you smiled, sipping slowly.

“I’ll work on it.” he smiled again, “Please, please!” he touched your hand, making you shiver.

“Okay! Okay!” you said, “you’re lucky I like you.” you sight.

He almost jumped from excitement, making you smile even more before you know it, he put a small kiss on your forehead and run to the Squad table to announce a party. You saw him gesticulate with a huge smile on his face. You loved him like that, you loved him in any other way too, but you knew that it’s impossible to tell him that, it would ruin your friendship.

“What’s all about?” Gabby asked, walking behind you.

“We’re making a party it seems, you smiled, you and Casey are invited for sure.”

“Thanks,” she bites her lip, “can I ask you something.”

“Sure,” you answered.

“Did Kelly bring any girl to your new apartment?”

“No, I thought about it too, I mean everyone told me he is a player, but who knows maybe that's why we are making the party.” you gave her a bitter smile.

“Don’t think so,” Dawson said, “I think he has feelings for you.”

“Oh, stop. We’re just friends.” you brushed her off, “let’s go, I’m hungry,” you said quickly.

*******  
You entered the flat after making some grocery shopping, you didn’t ask Kelly how exactly that party will look so you decided to help him a bit. When you entered the kitchen the delicious smell hits you, making your mouth water. You put the groceries on the counter, walking slowly behind Kelly, you were so quiet he didn’t even notice your presence until your voice filled the room.

“I know why girls want to date you,” you said with a smile, “it looks and smells amazing.”

“It’s not why girls want to date me,” she smirked, “you want to try it?”

“Yes,” you said quickly.

“Be careful, it’s hot,” he said, lifting the spoon with the food to your mouth.

You lean in a bit, trying not to put your hair in it. He gave you a bit to try, you closed your eyes letting the taste overwhelmed you. You opened it quickly with a smile on your face.

“Sweet God, it’s delicious!” you shouted.

“Thank you.” he put the spoon to the pan, “you better get dress, people can be here any minute.”

“Yes sir,” you said, walking to your room.

It takes you an hour to get ready, you straighten your hair, put a bit of makeup and chose to only good dress you own. Black with bareback, you were always afraid that it will show too much. You stood in front of the mirror for some time before left your room. Your house was full of people, mainly your colleagues and some of the people you don’t know.

“Oh my…” you heard the male voice behind you.

“Hi!” you answered, didn’t know who the man was, “I’m (Y/N) and you?”

“Andy, I’m Kelly’s friend.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is mine.” he said, licking his lips, “maybe we can go something private?” he took a step towards you.

“No, thank you,” you answered, leaving him while looking for Dawson or Matt.

******  
“I have to throw that dress away,” you said, standing in front of Gaby and Matt.

“No way! you look amazing.” Dawson said, looking at you.

“Yeah, but it brings only creepy guys or horny once...I will pass,” you said, sipping some of the beer Matt gave you.

“Hey you.” you heard Kelly’s voice, “you look...wow,” he adds.

“Hey, you started drinking I see,” you said, a bit scared.

He couldn’t know, no one could. You were afraid of men, drunk men, the men who don’t have respect to you saying no. You took a step back, trying to avoid everything and everyone. You excuse yourself and hide in the only place you could feel safe. The room upstairs, full of your books and Kelly’s big TV placing on the main place. You looked thru the window, the view that could sell that flat for much more than you rent it. You hold your arms, rubbing it gently, you shivered even if the room was warm enough. You were scared.

“Hey,” you heard the male voice again, “are you okay?” Kelly asked.

“Yes, I’m sorry.”

“For what? That party wasn’t the best idea.”

“It was!” you almost shouted, “I’m not the best in partyingl, that’s all.” you bit your lip.

“I’ll tell them that party is over okay?” he said, walking towards you.

“No! I’ll be fine, just give me a second.” you smiled, took a step back.

“(Y/N),” he whispered, “are you...are you scared of me?”

You lifted your sight to meet his icy blue eyes, you bite your lip so hard, you think it will bleed in a moment. Your eyes closed shut, letting your breath, you take a few deep breaths before finally spoke.

“Not you.” you whispered, “I’m afraid of...men, in general.”

“All men?” he asked confused.

“You don’t know everything about me, Kelly. I can’t tell you everything, it’s too dangerous and I don’t want you to be in danger because of me.”

“(Y/N), I want…” he took your hand in his, “there is nothing that will tear us apart you know.” he touched your face, brushing his thumb over your cheek.

“It will..” you said, “I had...a boyfriend.” you started, trying to control your sobs.

“Hey, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Kelly interrupted, “we can tell them to go home, take a blanket and cuddle until you fall asleep.”

“I want that.” you murmur, closing your eyes, letting the tears fall on the carpet.

*******  
When you left the room the house became empty. Kelly was saying goodbye to the guests by the door. You looked at him, he was standing tall, trying to get rid off people quickly, but failed every time his friend remind them about good old times.  
You sat on the couch, looking for your favorite fuzzy pink blanket. Kelley made fun of it since day one and you smiled at the memory of it.

“Everyone’s gone.” he smiled, sitting next to you on the couch, “you got fuzzy?”

“Yeah,” you said, laying beside him, your head at his chest.

He was stroking your hair, kissing it gently, he wrapped you in your blanket, making sure you are warm and felt safe. At once you lift herself a bit, looking into his eyes, making sure he is still awake. You put your chin on your hand, placed on his chest, biting your lip.

“His name is Jake. We were together for almost six years.” you took a deep breath, “he was sweet and at the beginning everything was perfect. One day he saw I was talking with a postman, we laugh a bit because he lost my letter for the fifth time...I came back home, asking him what we will have for dinner… he hit me so hard that I lost orientation, I had a concussion and broken ribs.”

“I’ll kill him….” Kelly said, holding you tight.

“It wasn’t the worse..” you add, your eyes filled with tears, you grabbed the hem of his shirt to give yourself a sign of courage, “he raped me. several times, he said I’m his and no one will have me. I’m scared, all the time. I’m scared he will find me.” your voice becomes a whisper.

Kelly’s eyes become bigger, he couldn’t handle the pain, your pain. He wanted to find that guy and kill him with his bare hands. He wanted him to suffer, but at once he looked into your eyes and all that anger went away. You were his soft spot, he hugged you as tight as he could, stroking your back and kissing your hair. He let you cry it out, and when you calm a bit his voice echoed in the empty apartment.

“I promise you for my life, that no one will ever hurt you.” he lifted your chin, “I won’t let anyone touch you,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head.


	5. Chapter 5

You thought that after you told Severide about what had happened to you, it will change your relationship for good, but the truth was, it changes it only for the better. You spend more time with him, sitting by the Squad table and playing cards or just laugh with them. You had a feeling he wanted to have you close.

“What are we doing tonight?” he asked, sipping his coffee.

“Well, I’m going to watch horror movie for the first time in my life and you….well, you probably have a date or something.” you bite your lip, trying to sound cool.

“Are you kidding?” he asked, “you have never watched a horror movie?”

“I had enough of horror in my own life…” you said, looking afar.

“I’m sorry,” he said, touching your arm, “I’ll watch it with you, you won’t be so afraid.”

“I am not!” you shrugged.

“Of course you are,” he teased, “I see it from here.”

“Idiot!” you said, sticking your tongue at him.

“Maybe, but you love me anyway.” he smiled.

Ambulance 61, Roosevelt street, stab wound. Police are on the way.

“Saved by the bell.” you smiled, running to the car, Severide’s words echoing in your ears.

“Be careful!” he shouted behind you.

*****  
You were waiting for Severide in front of the firehouse, you wanted to finish the conversation from earlier, but you weren’t sure if it was flirting or you just wanted to see it there. You leaned on the wall, holding the warm cup with coffee in your hands, your eyes closed enjoying the reflexes of the sun on your face when at once you heard the click of the heels. You opened your eyes slowly, getting used to normal light.

“How can I help you?” you asked the woman approaching you.

“I want to speak with Kelly Severide,” she said, looking at you.

“He’s not here, but I can tell him you are looking for him Miss..”

“I’m Renee.” she said, “Just tell him I was here, or I will just wait for him.”

“I don’t think-” you started before the loud noise of the truck stifle your voice.

“Never mind, “ she said, turning around to face Kelly who was just getting out of the truck.

“Renee?” he looked surprised, “what are you doing here?”

“Can we talk...somewhere private?” she asked, looking in your direction.

“Yeah sure…” he said, letting her into the fire station.

You looked at them, trying to control your jealousy. You knew a bit of her, Renee brake Severide’s heart before and that was enough for you to hate her. You didn’t know what to do, go there and drag her out telling her she can’t play with Kelly that way or just stay where you are, remembering you are not his girlfriend. You took a deep breath and before you could decide, Severide was already by your side.

“Hey,” he started softly, “can we reschedule our horror night?” he asked, smiling, “Renee wanted to talk and I thought…”

“Yes, sure,” you said without looking at him.

“Maybe you could…” he started touching your elbow.

“Could what? Don’t you see it? She will break your heart, Kelly. Again.” you almost shouted.

“Even if, it’s not your damn business!” he shouted back, “I remind you we are just roommates and I don’t need a sermon from you or anyone.”

“Perfect then, go and let her hurt you,” you shouted when the alarm goes off.

Ambulance 61, car crush at the Norton street.

Before you know it, your half-drunk cup of coffee wherein Severide's hands. You storm off to the ambulance praying for Dawson to be there. You sat next to her, feeling like your whole body trembling. Gabby looked at you, trying to decide whether to ask you about what happened or not, but after a quick look at you let her know you are not ready to talk. You drove fast in complete silence.

*******  
You were at the bar, very far from your flat and you were asking yourself what are you doing here. After you and Dawson came back to the station Severide was already gone, probably with Renee. You tried to think about something else, more cheerful, but the vision of them making out on the sofa you both bought making you feel sad and angry in no time. You decided that the best solution for you will be getting drunk, but not in the Molly’s, he could bring her there and you couldn’t know how your body will react at the amount of alcohol you wanted to have that night.  
At once you felt someone’s presence next to you, you lifted your sight just a little from the half-empty drink and saw a man looking at you with a smile. The mix of a scare, lust, and alcohol made you feel better than you thought it will.

“I’m Jack,” he said, “can I buy you a drink?” he asked.

“Sure, why not?” you smiled.

The moment he asked if you want him to walk you home was the most surprised one, you forgot how to date, how to treat men or how they should treat you. You told him how far is your flat, but he just smiled and took your hand into his. You were walking slowly, talking and laughing and before you know it you were already in front of your doors. You weren’t sure if it was alcohol or the fact you wanted Kelly to be jealous, but you let Jack in.  
The moment you entered the room you saw Renee and Kelly sitting on the sofa and talking. Your blood boiled at the view of them and before you know it, you were pulling Jack behind you to your room.

“I’m sorry, we won’t bother you,” you said quickly, closing the door behind you.

Jack was impressed at the size of the apartment and your room, he sat on your bed, pathing the spot next to him. You didn’t want that, you wanted your relation with Kelly to be normal, Jack to disappear and you and Keely watching horror movies. Instead of that, you had Jack who was more than happy to see you sitting next to him.

His lips immediately found the path to your neck, kissing it, his hands roam over the bare skin on your legs. He pushed you on the bed, spreading your legs apart enough to touch your tights. You knew you could say no, but the fact you didn’t do it so long, makes you feel like a total loser. You wanted to get over with as fast as it possible, you let him take off your shirt, but when he unzips his jeans something in your break.  
Your breath becomes heavy, tears streaming from your eyes and the whole body tremble. You thought he will stop, looking at you and your reaction, but he didn’t. You screamed as loud as you can try to pull him off of you.

“No!” you screamed.

At once you felt his weight was pulled off, you couldn’t focus on anything that was happening around you. It all was too fast, him being kicking of by Severide, Renee looking at you like a poor victim and later the look that Kelly gave you. It was too much to handle, you wrapped your shirt around you and pulled them both out of your room, locking the door behind. You lift your hand towards your mouth trying to muffle the sound of your sobs, leaning on the closed door.

*****  
Kelly was looking at the closed door in front of him, the view of that guy on top of you and your scream echoed in his ears. He didn’t know what was you thinking about bringing this guy to your place, letting him touch you, but the only thing he wanted to know was if you are okay. He was so determinate to come into your room and hold you tight, protecting you from the whole world, he didn’t notice Renee was already dressed and ready to leave.

“I’ll call you later,” she said, touching Kelly’s cheek.

“I don’t-’ he started, looking at the door, “I don’t think it will work. It didn’t before and I don’t think there is a chance now.” he said, taking her hand from his cheek.

“Because of her?” she asked, “you know...you have needs, Kelly. Needs that I can fulfill.” she whispered seductively.

“The only need I have is making sure she is alright. Leave please.” he said, “oh and please don’t visit me anymore at my workplace.” he added quickly.

You will regret it,” she snapped, taking her purse.

“I already am...I regret I invited you and listen to your poor apologies.”

You were listening to the muffled voice behind the door, you tried to calm yourself down. You weren’t ready, for sex, for being in relationship...for being in love. You think about Keely and how much you love him already and how much it will ruin his life. How much you will ruin his life. You took a deep breath and opened the door, still covered by your shirt.

“I think...I think it’s time for me to move out,” you said, looking at him.


	6. Chapter 6

You were standing in front of Kelly, your eyes filled with tears when your body started to tremble. You didn’t know what to do next and telling him about moving out was the best option for you to be friends. You know every girl brought by him to your house will send jealousy to your veins. You didn’t want that, you didn’t want to lose him as a friend. 

“You can’t…” he started, “you can’t do this.”

“I have to do this,” you said, trying to avoid his gaze. 

“Why? Because of Renne? Because that ass you brought home?” he asked. 

“Because I feel for you more than just friendship Kelly.” you said with your eyes closed, “I’m not ready for a relationship, for anything. I freak out because he started to touch me, Kelly. I will never be able to be in normal relationships with another person.” your eyes filled with tears. 

“You feel something for me?” he asked.

“Yes, but it’s not the point. The point is that I have to move out.” you said quickly, putting your shirt on, “I will spend the night somewhere else and take my things tomorrow.” you said before Kelly could react, “I’m sorry,” you said, leaving his apartment. 

******  
You didn’t think about the jacket or anything else to wear before leaving Kelly’s flat. You didn’t think about any place you could go to either. You took your phone from your pocket and dial the only person you could lean on- Dawson picked up the phone after the second bell. 

“Hi!” you said, trying to hold back tears, “Uhm, I was wondering…”

“Kelly called Matt to ask if you are here? What happened?” she said quickly. 

“I told him, we can’t live together as roommates,” you said, tears now streaming from your eyes.

“I will pick you up, we will talk and sort everything out, “Dawson said, “where are you?” she asked.

“A few blocks from Kelly’s apartment,” you said quickly. 

“Stay there, I’m on my way,” Gaby said, ending the call. 

Gaby parked her car, waiting for you to come in minutes later. She looked at you, wearing only a shirt and jeans, immediately turning on the heating. She waited for you to settle before finally asked a question, her voice calm.

“What happened?” she asked softly.

“I knew he will be with Renee, I met a guy in the bar and I thought I’m ready to move on with...everything.” you took a deep breath, “but I didn’t. Severide kicked him out, Renee left and I was a crying mess.” 

“He got scared (Y/N),” Dawson said, “he called Matt several times to make sure you didn’t come to us.” 

“Don’t tell him I’m with you,” you said quickly, “I’m not ready to talk with him,” you said, playing with the hem of your shirt. 

“You will have to talk with him, you work in the same place.”

“I called the chief and asked for two days off,” you said quietly. 

“It won’t fix the problem,” 

“But it will give me some time to think.” you said, looking at Gaby, “I fall in love with him...and I’m not ready to be in a relationship, being scared of every man I know.” 

“I know,” Gabby said softly, pulling you into a hug.” you will spend some time at Hermann’s flat, above his house. Cindy will make a room for you, I called her.” 

“You did?” you asked through the tears, “thank you and I’m sorry I’m such a mess.” 

“You are my partner, your mess is my mess,” she said, turning on the engine. 

*******  
You were laying on the comfy bed in Hermann’s apartment for twenty minutes. You woke up early, trying to decide what to do next.YOu couldn’t go back to Severide, you felt humiliated, sad and what’s most important...in love. You thought you could just take your stuff from his flat and disappeared, the thing you do the best when life becomes rough. 

Something went in a way this time, you didn’t want to vanish from Kelly’s life. He was your friend, someone you liked immediately, your safe place. You knew that he would never hurt you, and you are the one who makes everything harder for both of you. You closed your eyes, took a deep breath and slide from the comfy bed. You looked funny in Cindy’s old PJ, but you didn’t care until someone knocked at the door. 

“(Y/N),” you heard Cindy’s voice, “you have a visitor,” she said, opening the door. 

“Tell Gabby I will be right up,” you said, looking for your clothes. 

“It’s not Gabby.” Cindy said, “I will be downstairs if you need me.” she finished, leaving Severide waiting at the door.

For a moment you couldn’t breathe, your legs become heavy and all you can think about was running away as far as you could. Severide was now standing in front of you, giving you a warm smile. He didn’t try to touch you, hug you or make any contact. He just looked at you like at the most beautiful flower and for a second you didn’t know if he wasn’t drunk. 

“I thought…” he started when his voice cracked, “I thought you run away.” 

“I was about too…” you said quickly, “but Gaby made up my mind.”

“I will buy her donats for that.” he smiled, making your knees weak. 

“About last night…” you tried before he took a step towards you.

“You didn’t let me explain,” Kelly said taking your hand in his, “I feel something for you too, I’m not very good with talking about feelings, ask my dad, but I don’t want to lose you,” he said, his lips brushed yours. 

“Kelly…” you tried to focus, but his touch made you weak. 

“I’m not him (Y/N), I will never be.”

“I know…” you said, before your hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him into a kiss.

“I thought you would-” Cindy’s voice brought you both back, you jumped off from each other, “I’m sorry,” she said, closing the door behind her. 

You looked at Severide’s flushed cheeks, his smile and the way he looked at you. He was laughing so hard you couldn’t force yourself from laugh. He pulled you closer to his warm body, his hand on your back caressing you gently. You didn’t know if it was him or the whole firehouse, but for the first time, you felt safe with a man in the same room. 

“You think Cindy will ell Hermann?” you asked, still in Severide’s arms.

“Probably not, you saw her face? She would be too embarrassed.” 

“You should be at work by now?” you asked out of the blue.

“No, don’t think so. I asked the Chief if I can take two days off.” 

“Me too!” you smacked his arm playfully, “he will think we will…”

“Do naughty things?” Kelly asked with a serious face.

“Making out….that we will be making out Kelly.” 

“So naughty things then,” he said, starting to kiss your neck. 

“You are evil,” you screamed when he started to tickle you.

“We will see after I will be done with you young lady,” he said, kissing you harder. 

“We really should get out of Hermann’s house you know.” 

“I thought you will never ask about that, I brought you my jacket because I couldn’t find yours.” 

“Thank you, I didn’t take any...yesterday.” 

“Put your clothes on and I will wait by the car,” he said, kissing you softly. 

You looked at him when he was leaving the room, you closed your eyes before picking up your clothes from the chair nearby. You didn’t know how it all will end, but you knew how happy that man-made you. You put his jacket on, feeling his scent on your skin made you drunk. You left the room, closing the door behind you, you didn’t know why, but you had a feeling there is only good ahead of you now when you and Severide are together.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is for @ladyate she support this fic making me work harder on this one. Thank you 💜

Two days off you both had magically vanish. You could swear that those day very shorter than the normal once. Spending days with Kelly was amazing and interesting experience. You were watching movies on the couch, visit pubs and bars near your flat and walked by the river, hand in hand, every time you could. You knew that Kelly have needs, you remember Renee telling him that, and once in a while her words echoing in your head. You were trying to shook it off, but most of the time you just looked at him and trying to catch memories like that moment of happiness could end in a second. 

“You can’t tell them,” you said quietly, “we work together and I’m new. It’s a secret!” you reprimand Kelly before you entered the firehouse. 

“They are our friends, they will know.” 

“Not if you won’t tell anything.” 

“I won’t survive without touching you,” he pout, taking your hand in his.

“I know, me too, but just one shift okay? Let me...get use to the fact I’m dating hot luitenant.” you smiled, tilting your head.

“Oh you are mean!” he said, squeezing your hand, “stop smiling like that! It’s an order.” you heard before entering the firehouse, leaving Kelly outside. 

*********  
You were trying to look normal, you were trying to act cool, like nothing happened, but no one can hide anything from Gabby Dawson. She knew something is going on when you jump to the ambo. She looked at you, waiting for you to say something before she finally spoke. 

“Will you tell me?” 

“Tell you what?” you asked, lifting your sight from the paper in front of you.

“You and Kelly? You had a fight, you slept at Hermann’s and now you are all happy and cheerful.” 

“I’m sorry that I’m cheerful, I know you don’t like it,” you teased. 

“Don’t play with me missy.” she said with smile on her lips, “spill it or I will go and asked Kelly.” pretending she is leaving the ambo.

“Okay, okay!” you shouted, grabbing by her hand and pulling her in “he came to Hermann’s house, I don’t know how he knew…” 

“I didn’t tell him.” Gabby said quickly.

“I know! He was…” 

“Sexy?”

“Gabby!” you shouted, blushing.

“What? You saw him!”

“We...we didn’t..” you blushed, “someday I will tell you why, but I can’t...not now.” you said, looking into her eyes.

“Hey! It’s okay, I didn’t mean to...I was just joking, he isn’t that sexy.” she said, when you both burst into laughing. 

“Thank you Gabby, I don’t know what would I do without you.” 

“That’s what friends are for.” she smiled.

“Ambulance 61, Squad 3...Victim stabbed at the Roosevelt road, police on the way” the sirens went off. 

“Right, now we have work to do.” you said, quickly wiping the tear rolling from your eyes. 

“With your boyfriend.” Gabby teased, starting the engine.

“I swear to God if you tell someone…” 

“Just kidding,” she said, “I’m just kidding.” she said, driving.

**************** 

“We are going to Molly’s,” you shouted from your room, trying to fit with your new dark green dress.

“I can’t touch you or kiss you at Molly’s so I’m not going.” Kelly answered with sad face, sitting at the couch and looking at the TV.

“Hey! I told you, we need some time, they will treat us different when they will find out.” you told him, kissing him softly. 

“You are too cute to say no too.” he said, his hand tangled in your hair.

“That means we are going?” you bite your lip, your hand rest on his chest. 

“That means you have too much power over me.” he said, giving you one last kiss before heading to his room to change. 

You entered Molly’s as first, leaving Severide outside. You hoped that now one will see the change, Gabby notice as a first. You tried to be chatty and avoid his look when he entered the bar minutes later, but the truth was, you couldn’t. His ocean blue orbs were like magnet and you couldn’t stop staring at him. 

“Beer, please.” you heard the familiar voice. 

You couldn’t look at the same direction, you couldn’t breath since the moment you heard the male voice. Jack. He was here, you could swear it was his voice, but couldn’t look up to check if your mind won’t play with you. You tried to close your eyes shut, like it could help you vanish from the place and won’t let him find you. You waited several minutes before run outside, leaving your jacket and purse on the chair. 

You stood there, shaking from the cold air, trying to decide if it was just a dream or he really find you. You couldn't stay if he did. You would not let him hurt Kelly. 

“(Y/N),” you heard Kelly’s soothing voice, “what happened?”

"I thought…" you tried to catch a breath, "I think Jack was there," 

"Your ex?" Kelly looked at the bar door, "I will kill him." 

"Please, no." you stood on his way, "I don't know if it was him for sure, I heard his voice, but...please don't go there," you begged, your hands on his chest, tears streamed from your eyes. 

"Okay, okay calm down." he said, pulling you closer, "I have your things, we will go home." 

"I should tell Gabby…" 

"I told her we will probably go home when I saw you leaving" 

"That's good." you calmed a little when Kelly wrapped your jacket around your shoulders.

"We will make cocoa and cuddle on the sofa," he said, kissing your forehead, "(Y/N)?" he asked. 

"Yes?" you lifted your sight. 

"Promise me, you won't run away. Not without goodbye."

"I promise." you said, hiding in his arms.

*********  
You didn't want to cuddle with Severide, you wanted to disappear again. You knew that feelings for Kelly made you easier target for Jack, but you couldn't just run away. Not after you promised Kelly. 

You took warm shower, wore shirt you took from Kelly's drawer, the one with squad logo, and normal knickers. You felt comfortable in it, in his clothes, with his scent on your skin. You lie on the bed and after a few moments drifted off to sleep. 

3 am. This was the time you woke up. Without a scream, but with that weird feeling, like someone would watching you. You slipped from the bed, feeling the cold floor beneath your feet. You slowly opened the door, tip toeing to Severide's door. 

"Kelly," you whispered, clicking the door and push them open. 

You looked at him for a moment, his body splayed on the bed. His chest moved up and down in the rhythm of his breathing. You loved him, you loved him the moment you talked in front of the bar. You looked at him until Kelly's voice filler the space.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.

"Can I sleep with you?" you asked, playing with your shirt. 

"Come here." he said, lifting the blanket.

"I'm sorry, for waking you up. I had a nightmare…" you said, lay on the bed next to Kelly, his hands wrapped around your waist. 

"You didn't wake me," he said, kissing your neck. 

"I see that," you said, turning around to face him.

"Maybe a little…" he said, pulling you closer, "go back to sleep. You are safe here." he whispered. 

"I know." you said, drifting off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

You were looking at Kelly, he was trying to make a toast and coffee at once and you couldn't believe how lucky you are. After you run away from Jack, you thought love doesn't exist, that you don't deserve it or it's reserved for special people, with Kelly everything was different, you felt like you won million dollar prize and for a first time you wanted to stay. 

"Babe," his voice brought you back from your thoughts, "can we tell people about us? I can't pretend anymore." he whine. 

"You didn’t pretend anything...we didn’t get to work yet," you smiled, "I want to tell…" you took a deep breath, "I want to tell about Jack…at the firehouse." you looked down at the coffee cup. 

"No matter what you decide," he started, kissing your hair, "I'm with you." he gave you warm smile reaching his eyes. 

"You have to had enough of that talk," you smiled, standing up to start preparing to work and hide tears in your eyes. 

"(Y/N)," he grabbed your hand before you left the kitchen, "we are together in it, I will never force you to anything. I'm not…" he shook his head, "I'm not him."

"I know," you said, wrapping your hands around his neck, "I know you would never hurt me, but… he is still in my head Kelly. Those memories haunts me."

"Hey, I will do everything to change it." he said, kissing you softly. 

"First, I want to tell everyone, I can't be ashamed anymore, I didn't do anything wrong." you said, trying to control the tears.

"That's my girl!" Kelly said, kissing you again.

********  
You were waiting for Chief to start the morning briefing. You wanted to get rid of that heavy rock from your chest and briefing sounded like the best option. You were sitting between your friends, your family praying for them to understand. 

"That's it for today." you heard Chief's voice.

"Chief," you started, "can I say one thing?" 

"Of course." he smiled, letting you stand on his spot.

"I want to…" you looked at Gabby and later at Kelly, "I didn't tell you about my past, but now I treat you as my family and you have to know because it can cause…danger for you." you took a deep breath, "I was in relationship for over six years. Jack was abusive, jealous and he beat me." you said quickly, "I was raped and…I thought I saw him at the bar, I don’t know if it was him, but he can be dangerous and I don’t want to put anyone in danger" your voice cracked, your sight searching for Kelly, "I want you to know, because I understand that it wasn't my fault."

You were waiting for their response, you knew that it could ruin everything. You looked at Kelly who was just about to go and hug you when Gabby did it first. She hugged you so tight that you couldn't breathe for a moment. 

"Why didn't you tell me," she almost shouted.

"It was hard for me," you whispered.

"I think I say it for all of us," Chief said, "you are safe here with us," he finished before alarm goes off. 

"Ambulance 61, truck 51, squad 3. Fire at Anne street. Several wounded." 

"Let's go people." Chief shouted. 

The place was crowded, victims were sitting outside the building, some of them were still inside. You tried to focus on people in need, but the truth was you were afraid. Severide was inside, you didn't know how long. You looked around trying to notice if everyone from Squad left the building, but all you could see was smoke. 

“Help!” you heard the weak voice reaching from the back of the building. 

You didn’t think, one of the reasons you loved the place you were working in was the compassion and being ready to help in any circumstances. You took the bag and before you know it you were already at the building, walking in the thick smoke. 

“Someone’s there!” you shouted before something fall next to you. 

“Here! I’m here!” you heard the voice of a child.

“I’ll be right there. Don’t move!” you answered, praying for the building to not collapsed. 

*****  
Kelly was going out with the last person from the building. He looked up trying to look at the smoke bursting from the windows. He knew the building won’t last long and the collapsing is just a matter of time. He helped the lady he rescued sat on the ground, looking for you or Gabby to exam her. 

“Have you seen (Y/N)?” Gabby asked, before taking care of the lady.

“I thought she was here.” he said, looking around again.

“I’m not sure, but I think she went in..”

“What?” Kelly yelled, “I’m going in.”

“No, you are not. “Chief said slowly, “that building will collapse any minute.” 

“That’s why I have to find her!” Kelly shouted, before the Chief was able to stop him, he was already inside. 

The thick smoke in the room was making you out of the air, you were close to the boy who was hiding behind the sofa. You looked at him, curled behind and trying to breath deep. You took his little hand, you didn’t know how old he could be, and took him into your arms. The smoke and flames were near you, you could feel the hottenes on your back when you saw him, Kelly was right in front of you with his helmet and air in his bottle. You took his hand and smiled. 

“Give me him.” he commended, “and hold onto me.”

You couldn’t say anything when you left the building, the smoke entered into your lungs, you smelt it on your clothes and hair. You let go of Severide’s hand, letting him transport the kid to Gabby. You looked at him for a moment before Chief stood in front of you. 

“Now you both will go to the hospital to check if everything is okay, later I see both in my office.”

“Yes sir,” you said, thinking on how fucked you both are. 

********  
“If you will do it one more time I will kill you,” Gabby said, when one of the doctors was checking on you. 

You were sitting at the hospital bed, with oxygen bottle next to you. You knew everything is fine, but both Gabby and Kelly forced you to make more test. You didn’t tell Kelly what Boden said and you were a little worried to do it. You told Gabby to go back to the fire station and after she left you finally spoken.

“Kelly,” your voice alarm him.

“You feel worse? I will go for a doctor,” he said quickly.

“No, come here.” you pulled him by his hand near your bed, “Chief said...that..he want to talk...with us both, when we get back.” you said at one breath. 

“We’re fucked then,” Kelly smiled, brushing his thumb over your cheek.

“I am. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“I obey the order. He told me to stay.” he said calm, “I couldn’t leave you there. If you do something like that one more time, I swear to God.” 

“I won’t. I promise.” you said, reaching for his lips, “my hero.” you whispered with a smile.

*****  
You were both waiting in Chief’s office for him. You couldn’t shook of the feeling that it will be the last time you are here and the Chief Boden will fire you or what's worse he will fire Kelly because of what you did.

“Good you both are here,” he said, closing the door behind him. 

“I can explain,” you started with cracking voice, “it was my fault.”

“I will start.” he said seriously, “I know you are adult and don't have to tell anyone about your relationships, but if it bother with your job….then it’s our problem. I wish you all to be happy and I know we spend here lot of time, with each other, I saw your sparkling feelings way before you both and I knew it will be a matter of time for it to erupt. I don't mind it, I’m sure no one here have a problem with it, but if it will interrupt with work...then we will have to figure it out.” 

“It won’t!” you said quickly. 

“Good, now please leave me with Severide for a moment.” 

“But you can't fire him,” you said with cracking voice.

“No, I won’t” Chief said with a smile. 

Kelly was ready for everything, but the only thing he wanted was you to be safe. He stood in front of Boden, waiting for his punishment. He obey the order and he was sure it will end bad for him. 

“I will forget about what you did, but you have to promise me one thing.” Boden said, looking straight into Kelly’s eyes.

“Anything.” he answered without thinking.

“Don’t hurt her.” he said, “she is not like your other girls.”

“I know,” Kelly said immediately, “I would never hurt her.” he said sincerely. 

“I hope so, or we will have to talk with you once again.” Boden said with a smile.


	9. Chapter 9

You were sitting on the sofa, wrapped with your favorite blanket with Kelly by your site. You didn’t know what Chief told him, Severide didn’t want to tell you that secret, but you were okay with that. Kelly pulled you closer, your head resting on his chest when he was trying to find something to watch on TV. 

“You had a lot of girls?” you asked out of the blue, lifting your sight at Kelly. 

“Some,” he answered, still looking at the TV.

“You like it…” you asked, “uhm girls and sex.” you blushed.

Kelly’s look went immediately to you , he turns off the TV and pulled you closer. He wanted to explain everything to you, didn't want to lose you and knew the words have to be soft. He kissed you before finally spoke.

“Yes, I like it," he took a deep breath before speaking again, "but I can live without it.” 

“I don’t want you to..”

“Hey, look at me,” he lifted your chin, “I don’t know what you are thinking, but you are worth waiting, we won’t do anything in a rush or because I want to okay? You went through hell and I don’t want you to feel the urge to have sex with me." he said, trying to convince you to his words. 

"I want to make you happy Kelly, but I'm not like other girls you had," you said, "look at me, I don't even look like the girls you dated before." 

"I don't care about it, I want you. You are the best that happened to me (Y/N)," he said, kissing you softly, his thumb caressing your cheek.

"I see what girls like in you," you teased, "I'm happy that you let me in behind the facade of a macho," 

"Facade of a macho?" Kelly laughs, "you are so in trouble." he said, starting to tickle you. 

Your laugh filled the room, his hands roam over your body but you didn't care. For the first time in ages, you felt safe, loved and what's most important you knew he would never hurt you. 

"Stop!" you laugh, "I surrender." you screamed and after a moment finally spoke "I…" you whispered, "I…want to know you better.” 

“You know me,” he said, kissing your forehead. 

“I don’t. I don’t know what you like, or if you have siblings.” you counted, “if you like your dad or mom is someone you trust the most...I only know you like a hot firefighter.” you said with a smile. 

“I would like it to stay that way,” he said, looking straight into your eyes. 

“Please,” you pout, brushing your lips over his, “if you tell me I will tell you something about me too.” 

“In that case,” he wrapped the blanket tighter around you both, “I was raised by my mother, Benny, my dad, left us for another family...more than one. He had a lot of women, still have. I have a half-sister, she studies in Paris now. I like fishing, I restore old boats, I love it, as much as being hot firefighter,” he said kissing you again.

“You meet your dad sometimes?” you asked softly.

“Not much, he still visits firehouse thought.” 

“There is a change I will meet him then.”

“Please don’t,” he said with a scare in his voice. 

“Hey,” you said, caressing his cheek, “you know about the worse parts of my life and didn’t run away, I won’t either.” 

“You don’t know Benny,” he said quickly.

“But I know you.” you said sincerely, “and I love what I see.” 

“You are extraordinary, you know.” Kelly said, cuddle you tight, “now your turn.”

“There is nothing to tell about, my parents died when I was 18, I was alone most of the time. I worked as a waitress until I met Jack. I was 22 and thought he is the best man on Earth, we move in together quite fast. We had a dog, but…” your voice cracked, “he killed him, giving him poisoned food. He let me go to the paramedic course and since then I tried to make a plan for escape.”

“I won’t let anyone hurt you,” Kelly whispered into your ear.

“I know,” you said, pulling yourself closer to his warm body.

*******  
You were standing by the ambulance with Gabby restocking the supplies. You get used to the work and the people around you. You were working at the 51 about eight months now and the vision of Jack coming after you slowly become a blur. You couldn’t forget about talk with Kelly, you wasn’t sure if he didn't want to introduce you to his father because of him or what’s more bothering you because of you and your past. 

“Crap,” Gabby brought you from your thoughts, “I forget about one bag I left at the kitchen, “Otis cut his finger and I brought it there to fix him, will be right back,” she said, leaving you.

You were trying to focus on your work when you saw a man walking into the firehouse. He was tall, with light grey hair and that sweet smile that could melt hearts. You approached him, making sure your voice won’t scare him.

“Can I help you?” you asked with a smile.

“No thank you.” he said, “you must be new here.”

“Yes, I’m working here about eight months now,” you said quickly.

“That’s why we didn’t have a chance to meet.” he smiled, “I’m Benny Severide, you probably know my son, Kelly.” 

“Yes,” you blushed, “I know Kelly.”

“Maybe you could help me find him, he didn’t answer my calls and I have to talk with him.”

“Of course,” you said, “I think I saw him in his office.”

You were walking slowly towards Kelly’s office, you didn't’ know why they weren't on good terms with his dad, but for you, it was a very charming, nice guy. You knocked gently on the door frame before entering.

“There is someone to see you,” you said quickly, letting Benny enter the room.

“I couldn’t wait for you to answer my call.” Kelly’s dad said.

“I will leave you two,” you said, the atmosphere getting thick, “it was nice to meet you mister Severide.” 

“The pleasure is mine,” he said with a smile. 

“There is a reason why I don't answer your calls,” Kelly said when you left.

“You can’t be nicer? Your friend was very nice, shame I’m not 20 years younger,” Benny said with admiration. 

“Leave (Y/N) alone,” Kelly answered with rage.

“Oh, I see I found a soft spot…. I didn’t know you like that kind of girl.” 

“Leave or I will help you. I won’t listen to the story of an old man. Want to talk with me? Send a letter. I don’t know what you wanted, but the answer is no.”

“I see this girl is really good...in many aspects, you didn’t defend anyone like that.” Benny smiled. 

“Leave,” Kelly said, his fist clenched.

“I’m leaving…” he lifts his hands in defense, “have fun with her,” 

You didn’t know what happens after you left Benny in Severide’s office, but before you come back to the ambulance Benny was already leaving, waving you goodbye. You didn’t know what happened, but you had a feeling there was nothing good, you waited for Gabby and went to Kelly to check upon him.

“Hey,” you knocked gently, “everything okay?” 

“Why you let him came here?” he asked with a loud voice.

“He was looking for you, wanted to ask about something, I didn’t know you were not answering his calls.” you defend yourself.

“This guy is ruin everything in my life, so next time just leave him where he was,” he shouted, hitting the desk, the noise making you jump.

You know that your fear was irrational, Kelly would never hurt you on purpose, but you spend too much time with a man who acts violent, who hurt you for fun and at that moment in his little office you couldn’t think about anything else than him hitting you like Jack did many times, too many. You slowly left the office, not turning back to Kelly.   
He saw that, fear in your eyes and the fact you didn’t want to turn back to him like he would be able to hurt you. He was mad, but not at you, at his father who like always went to his life and ruin everything around. 

“(Y/N),” Kelly said gently, “wait, I’m so sorry,” he said, but you were gone. 

You closed the door of the bathroom, hiding in one of the cabins. You couldn’t control the tears fall from your eyes and for some reasons you were mad at yourself. For being so fragile and soft. The dark thoughts flowed your brain moments after, you couldn’t imagine life without Kelly, he made you feel safe, he made you feel loved and worth something. The thoughts you had made you cry even more. Will he leave you? Will you have to ‘made it up to him” as you did with Jack so many times? You just wanted to go home and cry, but you still had your shift. 

You left the bathroom trying to avoid Severide if you would see him the stream of tears will fall from your eyes and you didn’t want that. You remember Chief’s words. You can’t make work as your related field. 

“Chief,” you said, knocking gently.

“Yes, what brought you here?” he smiled, making yours at the edge of tears. 

“I think I ate something, will it be a problem if I will go home? I asked Mills, he can work with Gabby today.” 

“Yes, of course, hope it’s not something serious,” 

“I think not, just have to lay in bed for a moment,” 

“In that case, go.” he said, “you want Severide to drive you home?”

“No!” you almost shouted, “no, thank you,” you said calmer, leaving Chief’s office.


	10. Chapter 10

“Have you seen (Y/N)?” Gabby stormed Severide’s office.

“No, I thought she is with you,” 

“She went to Boden and asked for shift off,” she said, “what did you do?” Gabby crossed her arms. 

“I’m not good in relationship Dawson, I’m not as good as Casey and you,” he said quietly.

“It’s not about you Kelly, she let you love her...If I were her and went true all of this, I would never trust a man. Never. I know how she is looking at you, how she wanted to be near you and how scared she is when you run towards the fire.”

“I’m trying...but I’m not control everything....my father won’t help either.” he hides his head in his palms.

“Kelly,” Dawson said gently this time, “I know she is not one of many for you, but you have to fight for her, or we both lose her.” 

“You think Chief let me go home?” 

“Probably I already ask about that for you,” she said, giving him keys to the car. 

“Thank you,” he said, kissing her cheek, before storm off to find you.

*******  
You were at home for about two hours and you still cried like a baby. You couldn’t help it, there was a time you didn’t cry at all, Jack liked seeing you crying and you promise yourself that you won’t let him see your tears. For a very short moment, you wanted to leave, to leave Kelly and let him be happy with someone who will fulfill his needs and won’t cry most of the time, but the truth was you didn’t want to leave him. He was extraordinary, he was someone you would never have the courage to dream about.

At once you heard the noise of the opening door. You locked the bathroom door, trying to be as silents as you can. You hoped it’s just your imagination, but after a second you heard soft knocking into your bathroom door. 

“(Y/N),” you heard Severide’s voice, “please open the door.” 

You lift your hand to muffle the sobs, trying to put yourself together, but the truth was, you couldn’t, you wanted him to hold you, to tell everything is okay and you didn’t ruin everything you build together, but you weren’t sure about it. You were ready for him to say that it’s over and you should find another place to stay. You took a deep breath and slowly unlock the door.

“Thank God,” he let go of the air he didn’t know he was holding, “I thought you wouldn’t open the door,” he said, pulling you closer. 

“I’m sorry,” you managed to whisper, wrapping your hands around his neck.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, it was me and my crazy father. I’m sorry I scared you,” he said, caressing your hair.

“I know you wouldn’t hit me, but I’m afraid…” your voice cracked, “I am trying to control it, all that crying...I know it’s exhausting for you. I will do something with it, but don’t leave me.” you were now crying again.

“Hey,” he caught your attention, “there is no chance for it. I love you (Y/N),” 

You couldn't believe what he said. No one ever told you those three magic words and for a second you thought it was just a dream. You pulled him closer, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, your voice filled the space, letting yourself finally said those words too. 

“I love you too,” you said, smiling at the sound of those words. 

********  
You knew, from the moment in front of the bar when Kelly smiled at you. You knew he is a good man and there was nothing that will change your mind. He explains everything that happened that day, talks with his dad, how he talks about you without respect and how much Kelly hates him now. You didn’t want him to hate his father because of you, but you also didn’t want to cause a fight.   
You waited for him to shower and after five minutes you tiptoe to his room, you felt safe there but didn’t want to move, not yet. You saw him on his bed, with the place next to him ready for you. You climbed on the bed, pulling yourself as close as you could.

“You have cold feet,” he whiney, kissing your forehead.

“I’m always cold when I stress too much,” you answered, hiding your head in the crook of his neck. 

“I have to work on it,” he said, kissing your neck.

“Kelly,” you whispered.

“Hm?” he murmured into your hair. 

“Can we...try...to…” your voice becomes a whisper, “do it.”

“Do what?” he asked surprised. 

“Have sex,” you said, lifting your sight.

“(Y/N),” Kelly started.

“It’s not forced and I thought about it a long while ago. I trust you.”

“Can we wait a few days? Please, I don’t want anything that happened get you to think we have to do it okay? Give us a few more days,” 

“You don’t want to...I’m not that good at it, but I can try. You can teach me or something,” 

“It’s not about you are good or not, it’s more about me being a hundred percent sure you want this and it’s not caused by my father, our fight or other things.”

“Okay,” you said with sadness in your voice.

“Hey, don’t be sad, I don’t want it to be rushed for our good.”

“I know,” you said, kissing his neck, “I think I’m ready,” you said before fall asleep in Kelly’s arms. 

*********  
You were sitting with Otis and Cruz, eating cereals with milk. You were looking at the paper in front of you, reading an article about bears when Otis's voice brought you back. 

“Are you going?” Otis asked.

“Going where?” 

“Firefighters ball.” 

“But you know I’m not firefighter right?” you tilted your head, making him blush. 

“You can go with me if you want to,” Cruz said, smiling. 

“Nice offer, but I will pass,” you said, standing to clean your bowl. 

You left the kitchen walking straight to Severide’s office. You liked to hide in there when you have something to think about or just wanted to avoid people in general. You thought about the ball more than you should, it was just an event, and Kelly could just go alone.

“You know something about firefighters ball?” you asked, laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Yes, it’s very soon…” he said, filling the papers in front of him. 

“Who are you going with?” you tried to sound cool.

“Jenny from the morning shift is quite nice,” he said, hiding his smile when the pillow you throw hit his head.

“Jenny?” you asked. 

“I’m kidding. Of course, I’m going with you. It will be our first official date.”

“Date with Jenny,” you said, standing up, trying to leave his office.

Kelly grabbed you gently by your wrist, pushing you on his laps, you couldn’t force yourself from wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. Your butt rub over his tight making his voice deeper. 

“You are so cute when you’re jealous,” he said, kissing you.

“I’m not jealous,” you tried to sound serious. 

"Of course you are," he said, nuzzling his nose in your neck. 

At once the door opened loudly, letting Gabby came in, making you jump from Kelly's laps. You looked at her with questioning looks when she finally spoke. 

"I was looking for you," she said like she didn't see you and Severide kissing. 

"And you found me," you said annoyed. 

"We need ladies night," she said out of the blue, "I hope Kelly will survive the night without you,” Gabby teased.

"I will if you will look after my girl," he said, still holding your hand, squeezing it gently. 

"I'm still here," you said with a smile, your heart makes a flip at the sound of the word 'girl' in Severide’s mouth. 

"Of course, that's why I'm asking. Are you in?" Gabby asked. 

"Yes?" you looked at Kelly.

"I will be up, will pick you up afterward," he whispered, kissing your cheek. 

********  
The club you and Dawson went was full. You forgot how it is to be in a room full of people, you don't know if there was a time you were in that kind of club. You were sipping your drink when you felt someone hand on your arm. 

"Are you okay? We can go somewhere else." Dawson said, trying to be louder than music.

"It's okay," you smiled, taking a big sip from your margarita.

"You drink fast," she notices. 

"Yeah, I'm a bit nervous." 

"Because of Severide? He can handle one night without you," 

"It turns out I'm the jealous type," you smiled. 

"Let's dance," Dawson said, rubbing your arm, "you need some fun."

You were drunk. As drunk as you never were before. You were trying to talk but Gabby couldn't understand you. You lift your sight and smiled at her before you finally were able to build a sentence. 

"You are cute, my boyfriend is also cute but he doesn't want to have sex with me." your words slurred. 

"I will call Severide to pick you up," Gabby smiled, helping you stood up. 

"If I would be hot, he would fuck me right away." you gave her a sad smile. 

"Kelly will be here in five minutes, you want to throw up?"

"No, I want him to want me," you almost cried. 

Kelly looked at you, you were barely standing, your voice was too high and he didn't know if you could walk. After a small talk with Dawson and making sure she called Matt to pick her up, he pulled you by your waist, letting you lean onto him. 

"You don't want to have sex with me, and you are so sexy...I wouldn’t be scared of you because you are so sexy." you slurred when he was helping you get in the car, "I'm not sexy."

"You are sexy as fuck, but now I want to drive you home okay?"

"Okay," you said, your eyes become heavy, "you are a good guy, but you will leave me soon. You have needs, Renee was right." you said before drifting off to sleep in Kelly's car.


	11. Chapter 11

Your eyes were heavy, the bitter taste in your mouth makes you feel sick and the pounding in your head becomes more painful with your every move. You wanted to roll on your belly, to ease the pain, but all you could do was moan. You opened one eye, before close it shut. The reflexes of the sun and pounding in your head mixed in a very dangerous way. 

"Good morning sunshine," you heard Kelly's soft voice, "drink this." he handed you a glass of water. 

"Am I dead?" you asked, sipping the water like it was the last drink you will have in life.

"No babe, it's just hangover." he smiled, caressing your hair, “how much did you drink?” 

"It doesn't look like it, not much...I swear it was just two drinks" you said, "how I got home? Is Gabby okay?" you asked quickly. 

"Matt brought her home right after I picked you up," Kelly explained.

"You picked me up?" you asked trying to remember. 

"Yes, you were very friendly and told me I’m sexy," he said, "go and take a shower, I will bring you breakfast." 

"Jesus,” you moaned, “I’m sorry, do we have to go to work! What time it is?" 

"It's 9 am, and you don’t have to be sorry, I like it when someone I like to tell me I’m sexy” he teased, “we have the day off remember? Tonight we have firefighter ball." he remind you, "you will meet my mentor and a few other people."

"Ball? Tonight? I thought it's next week."

"No, I told you it's today."

"Jesus Christ," you whispered, thanking God you bought the right dress weeks ago.

"Go and take a shower, I will make food soon." Kelly smiled. 

*******  
You felt a bit better after a cold shower you had, but your head was still spinning like you were on the rollercoaster. You sat in front of Kelly, looking at him while he was preparing breakfast for you both. It takes only a few minutes for him to make you toasts and coffee while pancakes were still on the pan. You were wondering if he was like that towards his other girls, charming, helpful and extremely sweet. You always avoid the urge to ask him what girls he likes, because you were scared he will describe someone so different than you. Since you were living together you didn’t see any of his girls, except Renne, and as long as you were thinking of it, your head spin even more.

“I will have just coffee today,” you said, your headrest on the cold countertop.

“You have to eat something,” 

“Why didn’t you tell me not to drink before the big ball?” you whine.

“I thought you remember,” he said, kissing the top of your head, placing hot pancakes in front of you.

“I will die…” you said, looking at him.

“You won’t.” he smiled, “eat a bit and I will let you sleep.” 

“I can’t sleep, I have to wash my hair, shave my legs...It’s not easy to be a girl you know.” 

Kelly looked at you with an amused look, trying to force you to eat just a bit of our breakfast. After twenty minutes, one pancake and two cups of coffee you were ready to prepare yourself for your first official date. You were happy and nervous at the same time, knowing that your friends from 51 will see you both together for the first time. 

*******  
You were ready when you were looking at your reflex in the big mirror in your room. The long, sparkly dress in the dark green color hugged your curves in the right places. The cleavage of your outfit ended between your breast and the heels you chose were comfortable enough to move. You put some light makeup and lip gloss and after a moment you were ready to show yourself to Severide. 

“Wow,” was the only thing he was able to say when you entered the living room. 

“That means you like it?” you asked, tilting your head. 

“I love it! I will have the most beautiful woman there,” he said, pulling yours into a kiss.

“I’m nervous,” you whispered.

“Hey, everything will be okay, I will be there with you.” 

“Promise?” you said, kissing him softly.

“Promise,” he said, helping you wear the jacket. 

You would never think the firefighter ball can be so fun. You were so nervous when you entered the big ballroom with so many firefighters drinking and laughing like it would be a night at Molly’s. You took a few deep breaths before you and Kelly found people from 51.   
They immediately knew the way Kelly hold you by your waist, little kisses he gave you and the spark in your eyes let them know long before you officially told them.

“You own me $20,” Joe told Otis when you both sat on your places.

“No way!” he refuses, sitting on the chair next to you.

“I told you there are together,” 

“But didn’t tell that we will find out tonight,” Otis said seriously. 

You both left them with their discussion when Kelly notices Carl Grissom, he was his mentor since day one and Kelly wanted to introduce you as soon as possible. You smiled at the older man, lifting your hand to shook his. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” he said, smiling, “who would have known? Kelly and decent girl.” he joked. 

“It wasn’t that bad,” Kelly told you.

“Wasn’t? Remember Tiffany? Or the blond one with big breasts and no intelligence...Brittney? Or the one you wanted to marry for a second...what was her name.” 

You didn’t want to hear all of that, but Kelly’s mentor was counting the girls Kelly slept with and you couldn’t breathe for a moment. You knew he was like that, and for a small second, you were wondering if you will be the next one on his long list of girls he fucked.

“I’m sorry, have to use a bathroom, will be right back,” you said, your face pale as paper. 

“(Y/N)!” Kelly shouted, but you were long gone, “I thought you will be smarter than Benny and for once one of you will be supportive, but you decided to ruin everything.”

“Oh stop it, we were just talking and it seems your girls are too soft,” 

“She is, that’s why I love her,” Kelly answered without a blink, leaving Grissom alone at the bar. 

*******  
You were not crying, that surprise you more than the whole situation. You knew that Grissom didn’t mean to hurt your feelings and even if he did, you didn’t care. You were wondering why Kelly’s dad and a person who claim to love him like his son treats the girl he chose like that. You didn’t know how it would look like if your dad would be alive if he would like Kelly or not, but you knew that he would do anything to make you happy. You looked at the mirror in the big bathroom and gave one last touch of the mascara to your eyelashes. You hoped that before you come back Carl will be long gone and you will finally start to have fun with Kelly. You looked at the reflex in the mirror once again before leaving the bathroom. 

“God I thought you left,” Kelly said, locking you in his big arms.

“I told you where I'm going,” you smiled.

“Yes, but…” he answered, unsure. 

“I know you had girls Kelly. I won’t change that neither can you. The most important is that you will have just one girl from now one.” you said, wrapping your hands around his neck. 

“And when I thought I can’t love you more…” he whispered, kissing your neck.

“Come on lovebirds,” you heard Dawson’s voice, “let’s dance.” 

For the first time, you felt like you are a part of something bigger than just your life. You knew Kelly loves you more than anything and you loved him even more. You had friends who were also your family, you had an amazing life after the hell you have been true your life starting to get better. 

“You will have to carry me,” you said, laughing when you tried to take off your shoes, “my legs hurt,” you giggle. 

‘Yes ma’am,” he said, lifting you like you would be a feather. 

“You would do anything I will ask for?” you asked, tangled your hands around his neck. 

“Your wish is my command,” he answered, kissing you softly.

“Love me, Kelly,” you whispered, eyes locked with his.


	12. Chapter 12

Kelly’s breath becomes heavy, his sight locked with yours when your words echoed in the apartment. You were ready, you were ready to be loved and to give him your love. He gently put you on the floor, his hand cupped your face locking you in a sweet kiss. Kelly’s forehead touched yours, he wanted it as much as you do, but the last thing he wanted was to hurt you. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” you whispered kissing him again. 

Your hand slipped on his cock, massaging him gently before you felt his hands at your back, he slowly unzipped your dress, kissing every inch of your exposed skin. You felt his hands on your back when he helped you took off your dress, leaving you in matching lingerie. Kelly lifts you again, your hands wrapped around his neck, kissing him slowly. He carried you to his bedroom, his sight focused on you when you nodded at the unspoken question if you still want it. 

He gently put you on a bed, undress himself fast. Kelly caressed your cheek, kissing you with passion. After a moment he hovers over you his hand above your head making sure he won’t crush you with his weight. You slide your hand from his chest through his abs resting on his huge cock. 

“I want this,” you whispered. 

He slowly took off your lingerie, his hand slides up and down your folds making you moan. You never felt that way before and feeling pleasure was something you never experience either. You felt him inside making you a bit afraid when he pushed into you. 

“Hey, it’s okay..” he said, “we can…” 

“I’m okay,” you whispered quickly getting used to his size, “can you hold me before…” you bite your lip, knowing how pathetic it sounded.

“We don’t have to do this,” he reminds you.

“I want it,” you said, wrapping your legs around his middle, pulling him deep inside you 

“Easy,” he kissed you, “we have the whole night,” he said, ‘let me know when I can move.” 

You kissed him deeply, your hands roam over his bare back, fingernails graze over his skin. You wanted it more than anything and after a moment you finally let him move, his big cock slide in and out of you, little moans coming from your mouth making him even more aroused. 

Kelly looked at you the whole time, wanting to notice any signs of you being scared or unsure. He licked on your lips, moving into you with own rhythm. After a moment you felt it, the fire burns deep down in the pit of your stomach. You wanted it to be good for Kelly and you wanted to wait until he will be ready to. 

"I…" you were able to say before you saw the stars, the mix of kisses and moans filled the room.

"That's it, baby. Come for me," he whispered into your ear, your fingernails dig deep into his back. 

It takes a moment before you come back from your high, Kelly was peppered you with kisses along your jaw and neck. He caressed your cheek, waiting for you to open your eyes. You took a few deep breaths when one of the tears rolled from your eyes. You didn't know why maybe it was because of how happy you were or maybe because Kelly gave you the very first orgasm in your life.

"Babe, I didn't mean to….did I hurt you?" he asked panickily. 

"No," you whispered, opening your eyes, "this was the very first time for me." you smiled, kissing him.

Kelly looked at you for a moment before roll from you at the other side of the bed, pulling you with him. Your head was resting on his chest, body wrapped in the sweaty sheets, but you didn't care. He stays with you and that was the most important for you. 

*******  
You tried to act normal telling yourself that people have sex and don't smile all the time because of that. You were walking to the fire station with Kelly when you both stopped by Casey and Gabby. 

"Hi!" you said with a smile, "how-"

"You had sex," Gabby fired up, making you blush. 

"Excuse me," you said, taking Gabby with you at the back of the parking lot. 

"Can you be more...discreet?" you hissed. 

"I'm sorry, but if he forced you...I will cut his-"

"He didn't. It was our choice" you answered playing with the hem of your shirt.

"You sure? Because I know Kelly…."

"Not as good as me." you teased sticking your tongue out.

"(Y/N), I didn't know you from this site," Gabby smiled, taking you by your elbow and walking with you to the fire station. 

You were trying to focus, but every time your sight land by the squad table Kelly looked like he would want to undress you with his sight. You smiled, biting your lip and trying to act professional, but the truth was you were thinking about Kelly all the time. Not only as a hot lieutenant. 

"Don't stare at him," Gabby said, making you jump.

"I'm not," you said, coming back to the ambulance. 

"Yeah sure…you both look as if you would be naked…"

"Gabby!" you shouted.

"What? I'm telling the truth." she tilted her head. 

"Ambulance, squad and truck 51, fire in the magazine."

"Saved by the bell," you said, jumping into the ambulance with Dawson. 

**********  
You were coming back from the hospital, you were trying to stay calm and not smile like an idiot at the memory of what you and Severide did last night. You were projecting it over and over in your head and the truth was you were ready for more, lot more. 

“(Y/N),” Gaby brought you back from your thoughts. 

“Yes,” you said still distracted. 

“I was asking if you could cover me at Molly’s tonight, we have a date with Matt, I don’t remember when we were alone and I thought you could…” she gave you sweet smile. 

“I will, but stop talking about Severide and me okay? I don’t want Chief to think he made a mistake letting us dating.” 

“You have my word,” she answered sincerely. 

You were just about to go out when you saw Kelly lay on the couch. He was going to go with you to Molly’s basically to see how hot you will look behind the bar, but after a moment the big bruise showed on his shoulder. You looked at it, touching it gently, but even your touch caused pain.

“You had to hit in something,” you said, “I will call Gabby or Herrmann that I can’t come. We will take you to the hospital.” you said standing up from the sofa. 

“Slow down,” he said, pulling you on the sofa again, “I will take ibuprofen and put ice on it, or beans,” he smiled. 

“Okay, but I will stay with you,” you said, kissing him softly.

“No, you promised Gabby and I will listen a lot from Matt if you cancel it, go and I will wait for you. Take a cab okay? Or I will call Otis to drive you home.” 

“I will be fine, text me if you will need something or in general okay?” you kissed him one last time, before leaving your flat. 

You didn’t know how fun it was to be a bartender at Molly’s except the fact you to tips and Herrmann checking on you every five minutes the customers were nice, most of them were a firefighter or want to become one. 

You were talking with some girls by the table when you felt the cold coming from the opened door. You were so busy all that time that you didn’t pay attention to who was entering the bar until you saw him. He was smiling at you, wearing his black coat and redshirt you bought him on his birthday. You couldn’t move or breath your brain worked fast on how to get out of there as soon as possible so he couldn’t see you. But it was too late, Jack was walking towards you with the evil smile he made every time he hit you. 

“I finally found you sunshine,” the smile crept on his lips, “you can hide very well, but now it’s time to go home,” 

“Leave me alone,” you whispered, hoping that someone from 51 will see you.

“I told you so many times if you want something speaks louder,” he took another step towards you, “be a good girl and come with me, you don’t want to make a scene,” he said, touching your hair which makes you jump. 

“Leave me alone,” you repeat.

“You thought you can get away with that? You are mine, never forget about it,” he hissed, grabbing your elbow, “now, we are leaving.” he pulled you behind him.


	13. Chapter 13

You were panicking, you couldn’t see anything true the tears running down your cheeks. You thought no one will see you in a crowded bar before you heard Herrmann’s voice behind you. You know Jack was dangerous and you didn’t want anyone to get hurt, but the truth was you didn’t want to come back to him, ever. You tried to release from his grip, but it made him hold you even tighter. 

“Can you leave my friend alone?” Herrmann shouted.

“It’s not your damn business, so fuck off,” Jack fired up.

“It is,” he said, releasing you from Jack’s tight grip, “leave or I will call the cops.”

Jack was looking around like he was trying to scan the room, he looked at you with his lizard’s eyes and evil smile. He took a step back, but you knew it’s just a trick, he would never let go that easily. You were so surprised about seeing him, leaving the bar. 

“It’s not over bitch!” he shouted for anyone can hear.

Herrmann looked at you, you were crying, your body shaking from stress and a little bruise was forming on your arm. You knew you can’t stay here, not when he finds you. You wanted to pack your bags and disappear, you should do it for the sake of others, but after a moment you remind yourself about Kelly. You wanted to protect him, but the fact Jack was here, somewhere near made you petrified. 

“I will drive you home,” Herrmann said, touching your arm. 

“No, I will take a cab,” you said slowly.

“I don’t want Kelly to kill me if someone would happen to you, wait a minute with Cruz and I will take keys.”

You were just about to leave Herrmann’s car when you understood. You have to tell Kelly, it’s a matter of his life not only yours. Jack was ready to hurt people because of you and you had to warn Kelly about the danger. You thanked Herman for driving you home and left his car. You turned around thinking he drove to the bar the minute you left the machine, but he was waiting for you to walk home and be safe. You slowly opened the door, thinking Kelly would be asleep by now, but after you entered the room his voice filled the space.

“I missed you,” he smiled, “I was about to order some food, you want-” he stopped when he saw you. 

You were shaking, your whole body cold from stress. The tears run through your eyes, you tried to tell something but you could only be bubbling which Kelly couldn’t understand. He took a step towards you locking you in a tight hug. He started to caressing your hair, kissing the top of your head and waiting for you to be calm enough to tell him what happened. 

“He found me,” you whispered. 

“Who?” Kelly asked quickly.

“Jack,” you sobbed, “he came to the bar and if Herrmann wouldn’t scare him off he would take me with him,” you were now crying. 

“No one will take you. I promise you, remember? You will be safe with me.” 

“I can’t put you in danger,” you said, “ I will pack and leave.”

“Hey! Stop.” he turned you to face him, “you won’t leave, I won’t let you,”

“You don’t know him, Kelly, he will make my life living hell and I can’t-”

“I won’t let you leave (Y/N), I love you too much to do it,” he said calmly, “we will go sleep now and at the morning before work, we will go to Antonio, Dawson’s brother, he is a cop and he will help us,” he assures you.

“I love you too,” was the only thing you could say, hugging Kelly tighter. 

********  
You didn’t sleep well, you didn’t sleep at all, every little noise of shadow made you jump, you tossed and turning and at 4 am you decided to leave Kelly’s bed and sat on the sofa. You were staring at the big TV in front of you, it wasn’t even turned on, you just sat and pray for Dawson’s brother to help you get rid of Jack once and for all. At once you heard a noise behind you, you immediately turned around with your eyes wide open.

“I’m sorry, didn’t want to scare you,” Kelly whispered, “can I sit with you?” he asked tilting his head. 

“Yes,” you answered with a small smile. 

He sat behind you, your body wrapped in his, making you feel safe than never before. He put a blanket around you both after you started to shiver again, it was normal for you, your body was always acting like that in the moments of stress and you couldn’t help it. You lean your head on Kelly’s chest, closing your eyes for a moment. 

“I don’t want to lose you,” you whispered with your eyes still closed. 

“I won’t let that happened,” he said, kissing your cheek.

“You can’t protect me, Kelly, you can’t be in danger, I would never forgive myself if something bad will happen to you,” you said, turning around to face him.

“I told you, we are gonna be fine,” he kissed you softly, “will you try sleep a bit, I know you didn’t whole night,” he said, caressing your hair.

“Will you stay with me?” 

“Always,” he answered, wrapping the soft blanket and his body around you. 

******  
The precinct looked big, bigger than you thought it will be. Everyone knows Kelly here, in every room you went thru were people wanted to talk with him or just shook his hand. You were holding his palm tight like it could help you not run away, but the truth was you were scared, scared to death. You never tell anyone about what happened, especially not a cop. You knew how it could end, Jack would find out and kill you or hurt the people you love the most. You still weren’t sure if you are doing the right thing, but Kelly insisted on the talk with Antonio, so you decided to give it a go. 

“How can I help?” Antonio asked, letting you two sit in front of him.

“My ex-boyfriend comes to town and threatens me,” you said, looking at Dawson’s brother.

“Was he violent before?” he asked quickly.

“Yes,” you said, looking away letting him know how hard the subject is for you.

“We want to ask if you can do something with it,” Kelly asked, his hand squeezed yours. 

“I will do everything to help, do you have any photo of him so I will know who am I looking for?”

“Yes, here you go,” you said, handing him a picture of you and Jack at the party. 

He gives it a quick look before standing up, letting you both know he will work on it when you will leave. Kelly stood too, shaking Antonio’s hand and asking you to wait for him in the corridor. You didn’t want to stand there alone but after a moment you left, letting Kelly talk with Antonio alone.

“I’m not promising anything…” he said after your leave. 

“I know, I’m grateful you will at least try,” Kelly said, “he hurt her...a lot and if I will be the first one to find him or if he will appear near her….I’m not promising he will be alive when you find him,” Kelly said seriously. 

“Don’t do anything...let me do my job okay?” Antonio said quickly. 

“I will, but if you won’t find him...I will.” Kelly said, leaving.

*********  
You were waiting for the Chief to start the briefing. You could feel the sight of everyone in the station on you. You knew it will be hard to explain to someone who never experiences the things you did. You tried to hold back tears when Chief entered the room.

“It will be short briefing today,” he said, looking at faces in front of him, “I want to talk about what happened at Molly’s.” 

“Please..” you whispered.

“I just wanted to say that we all are here to help you,” he said, making you feel the tears pricking in the corner of your eyes, “we will protect you until the case won’t be solved by police,” he gave you a small smile. 

“Several wounded in a car crash, Roosevelt road 50,” the sirens went off.

“Be careful and let’s work people,” Chief finished, letting you all focused on the work.

You wiped the tear rolling from your eyes and run after Dawson. You would never imagine you will get so much support from people you know so short. You jumped to the ambulance right after gabby, you click your seatbelt and lean on the sit, closing your eyes before you both will be saving lives. You knew that no matter what happened, you are not alone.


	14. Chapter 14

Several wounded was misunderstood, you had hands full of work with five cars and few pedestrians with open wounds and broken bones. You were focused on your patient when you and Dawson were making triage. The ambulances were riding one by one, letting Squad and truck took care of spilled gasoline and the rest of the cars standing in the middle of the road. 

You looked at Kelly who was just about to take someone out of the vehicle when you saw him. Jack was standing behind the yellow tape and looked at you with his lizard's eyes. Your breath hitched in your throat and you wanted to scream loud enough for someone to hear you, but the truth was you weren’t that scared of Jack anymore. You had people who love you and help you in every way. 

You took a few steps towards the police, hoping that Jack won’t run away before you told them about his presence. You looked at the tall policeman who was now interviewed the woman who saw the accident, you looked at him and after a moment your voice made him look at you.

“I’m (Y/N), you see the man in red sweater and brown coat?”

“Yes,” he said quickly.

“Detective Antonio Dawson is looking for that man.” 

“Thank you, ma’am,” the policeman said to the woman in front of him, “in that case I will help a bit, Detective Dawson,” 

“Thank you,” you said, walking towards Gaby. 

“Hey, everything okay?” 

“Yes, you saw the guy who is looking at us, red sweater, brown coat?” 

“Yeah, he looks like a creep,” 

“It’s Jack, and that nice policeman is going to arrest him,” you said with a smile. 

********  
You walked to the kitchen with Gaby by your side. You knew something was wrong when you saw Antonio and Chief waiting for you. Your smile fades away in one second, you hoped that Kelly was busy with Squad and won’t find out you saw Jack and didn’t alarm him.

“He runs away,” Antonio said when Chief closed the door, “but we know how he looks like, every policeman is looking for him,” 

“Okay,” was the only thing you could say.

“We will find him,” Antonio assure you.

“I know, I hope you will, before he will find me,” you said, before leaving Chief’s office.

You passed by Squad table, you needed some air after the talk with Antonio. You felt like your lungs are failing you, didn’t give you enough air to breathe. You closed your eyes, waiting for calm your pulse and body when you felt his presence. Kelly was looking at you, waiting for you to open your eyes before touch you. 

“Are you okay babe?” he asked, finally touching your hand. 

“I saw Jack, he was looking at me when we were helping people from the crush.” 

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“You were under a car then and I can’t scream for help every time he appears. I've grown up woman Kelly, I have to stop being whiny baby,” 

“It has nothing to do with being baby, he hurt you, did awful things and I promised you that he will pa for all of that,” 

“I know,” you said softly, tangled your hands around Severide’s neck. 

You pulled him into a kiss, something you would never do before, but you needed him, his touch, his taste and scent on you. Right after you wrapped your hands around his middle, his warm body making you feel a lot better after the talk you had with Chief and Antonio. 

“What about a little night out? We could go to that new Italian restaurant,” he smiled, kissing your forehead. 

“I'm sorry,” you said softly, “can we just stay home? I know there’s been a lot of time since you go out…” you started, the familiar feeling of losing Kelly burnt in your stomach.

“Hey, it was just idea, we will stay home and I will cuddle you until you will sleep okay?” he said, caressing your cheek. 

“Thank you,” you whispered before the alarm goes off again. 

******  
You couldn’t sleep, nothing even warm milk didn’t let you close your eyes for more than ten minutes. You slipped from the bed, trying to not wake up Kelly and tiptoed to the living room. You switched on the TV and looked blankly at the screen. You couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched, you turned around so many times you lost counting, but you knew Jack wouldn’t be so stupid to come here. 

You were so close to leaving, to leave Kelly in peace with his own life. You brought only chaos and pain into his world and you didn’t want that, you love him too much to leave him and way too much to stay. At once you made the decision, you slowly opened the bedroom door, your clothes hanging on the chair where you left them. You took them slowly trying to be as quiet as you can, your bag was already full of clothes, you didn’t unpack your things just in case. You took your purse and find a piece of paper. You didn’t want Kelly to looking for you, you wanted him happy and safe. 

“I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry. I love you, (Y/N).”

You tried not to cry, not now, not when you were doing the right thing. He deserves more, more than running away from your abusive, dangerous ex-boyfriend. You hoped Kelly will settle once when you leave, he will start a new life with someone less damage than you. You left some money for the rent and carefully closed the door behind you, there was no going back. 

*******  
Kelly slowly opened his eyes, his hand went immediately to your side of the bed, searching for you and your warmth. He stretches his body before leaving the bed, getting used to the morning sun. He slowly took a shower thinking about you making the breakfast and coffee for them both, when he was ready with his clothes on he entered the kitchen. The small piece of paper caught his attention. He almost runs towards the piece reading it fast. Kelly’s hand reached fast to his phone, he dials the number as fast as he could waiting for someone to answer. 

“Chief,” his voice trembles, “she’s gone, she runs away,” he whispered, looking at the space you left. 

Kelly was sitting on the sofa, his head hides in his hands. He called the police right after he finishes the talk with Chief. Kelly knew it was too early to called missing and didn’t know if it was missing, but he couldn’t leave the fact your ex-boyfriend is somewhere out there waiting for a movie like this. You being alone, with no one to protect you. 

“Severide,” he heard Antonio’s voice. 

“She would not leave, not without a goodbye,” he said immediately, standing up. 

“Kelly,” Antonio said carefully, “are you sure she didn’t just...leave. She left note…”

“She would not do this,” he said sharply. 

Antonio looked at the Chief and later at Severide. He never saw him in that kind of state, he was trembling, his voice cracked with every mention of you. Dawson’s brother put a hand on Kelly’s shoulder, he let Severide lift his sight and after a moment his words echoed in the room. 

“We will find her. I promise,” he said, walking towards his men. 

Severide turned around, he looked behind the window in front of him. He breathed deep, trying to calm his nerves and shook the worst things that could have happened to you after a few minutes he whispered, more to himself than to the people around him. 

“If he would not find her first,” he said, closing his eyes.


	15. Chapter 15

You were sitting at the little bed in your rented room in a small motel. After you left money for Severide you didn’t have much to find a room in better localization. You were hoping for a comfy bed and warm water, and definitely no bugs. You closed the door for two locks and gave the fictional name to the lady in reception, just to make sure no one will find you here.   
You stood up, checking on the locks once again, took a little towel, and went to the bathroom. You looked like hell.   
Puffy eyes, red face, and messy hair. You run away, even if you didn’t want that, even if you miss Severide and you were away from him for only six hours. You shook your head trying to think about something else, you had to do it. You have to protect him.   
You took a quick shower, you thought will help but all you could do was thinking about Kelly. You hurt him, leaving him without explaining what had happened. You had no other choice, but the fact you hurt the man you love caused you to cry more. You sat on the bed again, staring at the space for over twenty minutes before you finally dress up. You had to buy something to eat first and later look for another job that will let you find a better place to stay.  
You closed the door behind you, walking slowly towards the little shop just around the corner when you feel someone's presence. You were not able to turn back and look who was walking behind you and all you wanted was to run away when at once the familiar voice filled the space.

“Look who’s here…” echoed in your ears when the sharp pain penetrates the back of your head. 

You tried to stay awake, but the pain was stronger with every move you make. You collapsed on the pavement, trying to look at the person who did it to you, knowing full well who it may be. There he was, your biggest nightmare carrying you to his car. 

********  
You were woken up by pounding pain in your head. The place you were in was dark, the only thing you could recognize was a bed you were sitting at with your hands cuffed to the pipe. The door opened slightly, letting the light entered the space.

"You woke up Princess," you heard Jack's voice, "you must be hungry," he said, placing a tray in front of you.

"What do you want?" you asked, scared. 

"Honey…" he answered, caressing your hair, "I want you. You don't know how I miss you. Your voice, hair, and …" he whispered, tracing a path from your knees towards your inner thigh.

"Please," you managed to whisper, "let me go."

"Let you go? Sweetheart, it's never gonna happened," he said bitterly, "you are mine. Forever." he hissed, grabbing you by your throat.

You couldn't breathe, the pain splay on the back of your head, and for a moment you thought he will kill you. That the card you left for Kelly will be the last words he will get from you, but at once Jack let you go, leaving you fighting for another breath.   
For now, you were safe, he left the room, leaving the tray with a sandwich and water. 

*****  
Severide was trying to focus on work. He managed to wash the truck, something he never has done before, but every time the phone ring filled the firehouse he jumped like it was another fire. 

"Kelly," Dawson's brother walked toward him, "we have a clue. She was seen in one of the motels. She left without taking her things, one of the witnesses told the man was carrying her towards his car. They thought she was drunk,"

"He got her," Severide whispered, throwing his things around. 

"We are looking for a car. We will find her. I promise," 

"Stop promising and find her!" Kelly shouted. 

You were sitting at the same bed, trying to realize yourself from the handcuffs. You were thinking about the time Dawson's brother wanted to teach you how to do it and promised yourself if you will get out of it alive you will ask him for the lesson. Jack was gone for about an hour and you hoped he won't come back for another one. You were just about to try to open the handcuffs once again when the door opened. 

"Baby," he whispered, walking towards you, "I will open it for you. Your pretty hands will be soar,"

"Can I go to the bathroom?" you asked, hoping your polite tone will help.

"Of course," he said, his hands roam over your body, one hand squeezing at your breast. 

You walked slowly, trying to remind your legs how to walk. You were tired and thirsty. The whole room was spinning, but all you wanted was to lock the door and find something to protect yourself.   
You were trying to find something, anything but all you got were the bin and painkillers. At once something flashed in the sunlight, you grabbed it immediately before the door opened harshly. 

"What took you so long?" Jack asked, dragging you out of the bathroom, throwing you on the bed. 

You knew what will happen. He will tear your clothes, piece by piece, his hands squeezing on your body bruising every inch of it. Making marks on your soft skin. You were trying to keep your legs close, but Jack spread them with one swift move.

"I don't want to," you screamed trying to stand up.

"You think that firefighter is better than me?" he shouted, pinning you to the bed. 

"Please," you begged. 

At once your one hand become free, the little piece of metal you found at the bathroom was still in your hand when Jack was busy with unzipping his jeans at once you stabbed him, causing a flush of blood coming from his artery.   
You immediately pulled away, letting him fall on the bed, you were too scared to look if he was alive. The only thing you wanted was to get out of this place. Fast. 

******  
Antonio entered the firehouse, he was walking fast trying to find Severide. The door opened loudly causing everyone to look at his direction. His face was pale and for a moment everyone thought about the worse scenario.

"We found her," he said loud enough for everyone to hear, "she is alive," he added causing everyone to take a deep breath. 

You were sitting outside of the house Jack brought you in. The house was twenty minutes away from the firehouse, the place you called home, but the thing was you were scared. Not scared of Jack anymore. He was laying in bed, covered with his blood, which remains were now on your hands and tights. You were scared to see Gaby, your friends, and Kelly. You left him after you promised you will never do that.  
He had a right to leave you, to not appear on the scene, leaving you on your own. At once you heard the sirens, the police were looking at you, talking but you couldn't understand the words. 

"Ma'am, are you okay." the police officer asked.

"He is there...he wanted," you managed to whisper. 

"Baby," you heard Kelly's voice, your legs become weak, not letting you run towards him.

"I killed him," you said when he lifted you, "I killed him,"

"It's okay. Are you okay? Is it your blood?" he asked quickly. 

"No," you said.

"Its okay," he said hugging you tight. 

"I'm sorry. I left you, but I…"

"We will talk about it later...I'm taking you to the hospital," Kelly said, carrying you to the ambulance. 

******  
The ER was loud, too loud for you to focus on anything. You were trying to not look at Kelly, he was with you the whole time, making sure you are okay. After ten minutes of waiting the doctor entered the exam room, causing you to jump on your bed.

"(Y/N), can you tell me if something hurts you?" Doctor Manning asked.

"No," you said, "yes. He hit me with something. My head hurts, but I didn't vomit," you explained. 

"Okay, we will make a scan then," she said, looking at your tights covered with blood.

"Is there a chance...he hurt you?" Dr. Manning asked, her look jumped from you to Severide. 

"No," you answered, closing your eyes, "he was on top of me when I...I didn't let him, "you said looking straight at Kelly, "I didn't let him. I promise."

"Calm down baby," he said, helping you lay down, "everything will be okay," he said, caressing your hair.

"Can I come home?" you asked tears filled your eyes.

"I will take you home as soon as dr. Manning will let you go," he said kissing your forehead. 

"Are you mad?" you asked, the tears stream from your eyes. 

"I'm not mad baby, I was so scared…" he said, touching his forehead with yours, "never, ever run away from me, please,"

"I had to protect you," you sobbed.

"You did," he caressed your hair, "now it's my turn to look after you," he added, kissing your hair.


	16. Chapter 16

You slowly opened your eyes, still not getting used to the light. You shifted at the hospital bed and for a one moment, you thought Jack was there with you. You looked around, seeing flowers, toys, and cards filled your small hospital room. At once you saw Kelly, sitting on the chair next to your bed, still in his firefighter gear. You smiled at the view of him, hoping he means it when telling you he still wants you. At once the door opened, letting Gabby entered the room.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, placing other flowers on your nightstand.

"I'm a bit sore but I will be okay," you whispered, trying to not wake Severide up.

"He spends the whole night with you," Gabby said, "he told Chief he wants few days off to take care of you,"

"I don't deserve it," you answered, looking at Kelly, "I hurt him, hurt all of you," you said whipped the tears coming from your eye.

"Hey, stop it. Jack was the only person who has to be blamed for it all," Gabby said, hugging you, "you will get back to us sooner than you think,"

"Everything's okay?" Kelly's sleepy voice filled the room, his eyes glaze.

"Yes," Gabby said quickly, "go home and change," 

"I won't leave her," he said seriously.

"I will be okay, go and take a shower. I will be here when you get back," you said, pulling him by his sleeve, forcing him to lean in.

"Don't go anywhere," he said, kissing you softly. 

"I want. I promise," you said, seeing him leaving the room. 

******  
You spend two days at the hospital, counting the house to go back home. You still have some problems with moving, the bruises and cuts were still there causing you to take a deep breath every time you had to walk somewhere faster. You packed the little bag Kelly brought you when you end up at the hospital and was just about to leave when you saw Severide standing at the door with a little bouquet of pink flowers. 

"I know you have plenty of flowers at home, but those were cute," he said, pulling you closer.

"They are," you looked at the flowers.

"Are you ready?" he asked, taking your bag.

"I don't know," you said, "I killed a man Kelly, I don't know how it will all end…"

"Hey," he whispered, pulling the straight lock behind your ear, "if you would not do it, he would have to kill you. I would kill him myself…"

"I love you," you whispered, wrapping your hands around his neck. 

"I will talk with Antonio, but I don't think you will have any problems because of Jack…"

"You should be mad," you said lifting his sight, "I left you, I left you with a note," you cried, covering your mouth. 

"Baby," Severide said calmly, "I know why you did it. You were scared and I were too, now when all this is over, we can...start it all over,"

"You would want it?" you sniffed.

"Yes sweetheart," he kissed your forehead, "now I'm taking you home, we will watch movies, eat take-outs and cuddle,"

"Perfect plan," you smiled, kissing him softly. 

******  
You spend two amazing weeks at home with Severide. He was taking care of you, spending every minute making sure you feel good, but you knew something was bothering him. He didn’t sleep at night, had a problem with focusing on things. You knew it had nothing to do with you killing Jack, Antonio took care of it already. You were not having any charges and they were treating it as self-defense. 

“Kelly,” you whispered one night, knowing full well he is not asleep.

“Yes?” he answered, staring at the ceiling. 

“What bothers you?” you asked, “we are spending every minute together, but you are...tired?”

“I’m not,” he said, turning around to face you, “I sometimes...think about what could have happened and it scares me,” 

“There is nothing we can do about it,” you said softly, caressing his cheek. 

“I don’t want to lose you again,” he said, kissing your knuckles. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” you whispered, kissing him softly, “you won’t get rid of me that easy,” 

“I love you,” he whispered, pulling you closer.

Kelly had never felt that way before, the things that happened made him feel more, love you more, and want you more than he ever imagines. He was holding you tight against his chest, caressing your hair, and waiting for you to drift off to sleep when he finally understood. He couldn’t live without you anymore, you were someone he loves the most on this World and he wouldn't risk losing you again. 

******   
“You want what?” Casey’s voice filled the room of Severide’s office, making people look in their direction.

“I want to propose, I booked the amazing restaurant, order flowers and I already bought the ring,” Severide counted with a smile. 

“Jesus, I would never guess that Kelly Severide will get married,” Matt said, smiling, “are you sure?” 

“Of course I’m sure!” 

“I’m just asking if you are not doing it too fast, you both went thru a lot and…”

“That’s why I want to do it if something would have happened to her that day…” 

“In that case…” Matt stood up, lifting his hand to shook Kelly’s, “congratulation!”

“Congratulation what?” your voice filled the room, leaving them pale as a paper card.

“Kelly wants to buy a boat,” Matt answered quickly, “he will renovate it too,” 

“Oh, I didn’t know you do that stuff!” you said excitedly.

“I-I do,” he said, hoping you didn’t hear more. 

“Engine 51, Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61 fire at the Roosevelt street, multiple injured…” 

“You have to tell me more about it later,” you said, running to the ambulance. 

The smoke was thick, fire coming from the building windows won’t letting people evacuate. You knew this will be the most dangerous and hard action in your life. You were waiting for Squad and Truck 81 to help people get out of the building where there was still time for this. You couldn't focus much, thinking about Severide who was running towards the fire for the second time. You looked at Gabby, who was doing the same, looking if Matt was safe.   
At once the roof of the building collapsed, detain the Squad inside. You left your patient with other paramedics and run towards the door, wanting to help as you can when at once you felt the tight grip around you. 

“You can’t go there,” Chief’s voice brought you back.

“But, he is there!” you cried, trying to release yourself from Chief’s tight grip.

“I won’t let you die,”

“He will die there!!” your scream filled the space, people looked at you with silent grief.

You couldn’t breathe, feeling your lungs burn like you would be the one detail in the building. You collapsed on the ground in front of Chief’s didn’t have the strength to fight anymore. You wanted to die, you wanted to go there and die with Severide by your side and nothing would bring your life back after you lost him. You thought about those two weeks when you both were together, in love with each other. If you would stay at home one more day…

Suddenly the scream brought your attention, the few people getting out of the building with injured wrapped around them. You couldn’t move, you didn’t want to find out Severide wasn’t one among them. You were kneeling on the ground, no having enough strength to stand up. Then you saw him, Kelly was walking towards you with a silly smile written on his face. You wanted to punch him and kiss him at the same time but all you did was crying.

“I thought…” you cried when he helped you stand up.

“You didn’t think you will get rid of that easy?” he grinned, causing you to smile thru the tears. 

“I hate you,” you said, wrapping your hands around his neck. 

Severide knew how it should be done, there should be flowers, good restaurant, and a ring, but he felt that right away. He saw you crying, thinking about him being dead, and all he wanted being asking you that one question that will define your life. Both of your lives.   
He kneeled in front of you, his hands squeezing yours. He didn’t think about people around you, about noise and ambulances riding with the patient. He was focusing on you and only you. Kelly took a deep breath and after a moment he finally spoke.

“(Y/N), I love you with whole my heart, you are the reason I wake up in the morning and the cause I smile the whole day. I want you to ride beside me when it’s bad and more when it’s good. That’s why I want you to ask you…”

“Yes!” you interrupted, jumping into his arms, kissing him like it was no tomorrow. 

“I didn’t ask yet,” he pouted.

“I’m sorry,” you smiled looking straight into his eyes, “keep going,” you added seriously.

“Will you marry me?” he finished with a smile.

“Yes!” you repeated, kissing him once again.

You were not a fan of big parties but Gabby decided to make an engagement party at Molly’s. Anyone you had every know was there, your coworkers, people you met at Med, some of the old friends. You wore the best dress you own again, the red one with lace covered most of it and you felt like a million dollars for the first time in your life. You looked at Severide who was laughing and joking with his Squad and it hits you, you will be the wife of this man for the rest of your life, and that was something that you would never dream of. Being happy, being in a place you feel safe.   
At once you saw a girl looking around the bar, you could swear you know her from somewhere and the weird feeling was gripping around your chest causing your smile to fade away. 

“Is it Kelly Severide engagement party?” the tall blonde asked.

“Yes..” you answered suspiciously, “please don't tell me you are his ex-girlfriend with his baby on the way or …”

“No, no…” she smiled, “I’m Leslie Shay's sister, Megan,” she said, looking at you. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you said lifting your hand to shook hers, “Kelly is there with his Squad,” 

“Are you his fiance?” 

“Yes,” you blushed, “yes, I am,”

“I’m so happy he found someone, my sister and him were very close friends and I’m sure she would love you as much as he,” 

“Thank you,” you whispered with a cracking voice.

“I will go and say hi,” Megan said, leaving you speechless. 

******  
You were helping Kelly to reach the bed, he was tipsy and you couldn't quite understand what he was talking about. You helped him sit at the bed, trying to take off his shirt when he looked straight into your eyes. 

"I love you so much," he said, kissing you.

"I love you too babe, but you have to go to sleep now,"

"I know, but I'm afraid you will disappear while I will sleep," he said, lay on the bed. 

"I want," you convince him, taking off his jeans. 

"We will be married soon," he smiled drifting off to sleep. 

The hangover was a word Kelly hated the most, the feeling of a hangover was even worse. You slowly entered your bedroom, making sure he was awake. You out the tray with coffee and breakfast in front of him, his eyes still half-closed when he found your hand.

"You know I forgot to give you the ring," he smiled, placing a silver ring with a blue eye on your finger. 

"It's beautiful," you said, kissing him softly. 

"You like it? If not we can replace it with another one," 

"No, I love it," you said smiling, "now eat. We have to be at work soon."

*******  
Four months later…

You couldn't believe your eyes, you were sure it must be a misunderstanding, but those two lines at the test...You get married six weeks after Kelly proposed, at the firehouse with your family and friends around you. You were now Mrs. Severide and couldn’t be happier, but you had never talked about kids. You felt sick for the whole month, thinking you probably ate something or get the flu, but the truth was you didn’t know if you are ready for kids. You slowly get out of the bathroom, glancing at your reflex in the mirror. You were pale and your eyes become red from crying. You hoped Kelly wasn’t at home to see you like that, but you found him in the kitchen, preparing the breakfast just in his underwear. 

“Good Morning Mrs, Severide,” he kissed your cheek before looking at you, “what’s wrong?” he asked quickly.

“I’m so sorry,” you said, trying to hold the tears, “I-I-” 

“Sweetheart,” he pulled you into a hug, “breath for me, in and out,” 

“I didn’t mean to but it happened and I don’t want to…” you mumble.

“Come with me,” he said, taking you with him on the couch, pulling you onto his laps, “now take a deep breath and tell me what’s wrong,” 

“I’m pregnant,” you whispered loud enough for him to hear. 

“You’re...I will be a dad?” his eyes become bigger.

“Yes and..yes,” you bite your lip, looking into his orbs. 

Kelly hugged you so tight you couldn't breathe for a moment, his wild smile made you feel happy and all doubts about him wanting a baby fade away. You were sitting on his laps, your face hides in the crook of his neck when you finally spoke, caressing his cheek.

“If it will be a girl, I would like to name her Shay,” you said, waiting for his reaction. 

“I would love that too,” he said, kissing your hair.


End file.
